First day of the Olympic break … and no news …


… so in order to give you a new post, and maybe a smile or a chuckle, our friend Miami sent this in last week.

It’s a gift from his wife.

It’s not bush-league, amateur-hour, clownish, or dog’s breakfast in any way.

Only Miami could have one of these, and now he does.

Unfortunately, his nightly predictions of a 7-0 Rangers loss will now have to wait until Feb. 27.


In an unrelated note, our friend Gift of Gab announced that his fund-raising effort was successful, so Liam Traynor and his family will be headed to Nashville to see the Predators and Liam’s favorite player, Michael Del Zotto. Good work, Gab. You should be awfully proud.

Enjoy, Liam!



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  1. “It was a dog’s breakfast as far as the trip, three in a row losing them all,” Canucks coach John Tortorella said. “We’re in a spiral, so [the Olympic break] couldn’t come for a better time mentally and getting guys back also.”

    Youcan’t make this stuff up, you can’t you can’t you can’t. Tortorella really said this last night

  2. Gab is the man. This isn’t his first entirely successful fundraising effort. That guy is a gem.

  3. Gift of GAB-orik says SMASHVILLE on

    Oh Manny… Ou’re gonna make me blush :)


    That jersey is GOLD.

  4. Doodie Machetto on

    Or, as Miami Pimp would argue, every other Kreider sweater are fouls, and only his is correct.

    I have to admit, it’s pretty damn funny.

  5. Boy, oh, boy… Looking on the standing in a break…
    I guess, Vancouver’s team, by far more talented, strong historically, at least in eyes of majority here (me included), take it harder, stiffer and longer to adapt new (Torts) system, than reversed in story, spited on, ripped off, sworn at Rangers and its coach to their (btw much more attractive).
    Did Torts “lost” his(?) team between 1st and 2nd period of the very 1st game? Are his players too sensitive as Martin to Torts Incognito gracious style of expressing himself? Who knows, all I know is that now, regardless of this season outcome, I proclaim Alain a Winner in this interesting, undeniably competitive saga.

  6. Gift of GAB-orik says SMASHVILLE on

    Thank you to all who helped make the fundraiser a success. It takes a team effort, and we were able to make it happen.

    Side note: I had 2 goals last night in my first game back after a emotionally tough trip, then getting delayed coming back from Florida and getting stranded in Raleigh for 2 days. My aunt is losing her 3rd battle with Cancer, and doesn’t have much time left. Tough as nails that woman though. Fighting to the very end… there is no quit in her.

    That game was dedicated to my aunt. Though i fell short of geting the hattie.. I did get my team’s victory sombrero! And hitting the fundraising goal over the last weekend helped bring a bright spot to a otherwise tough weekend.

  7. Doodie Machetto on

    I disagree with those who say Vancouver is a more talented team than the Rangers and I’ve disagreed with that sentiment since the summer when AV was being discussed as Torts’ replacement. Honestly, outside of the Sedins (whose skills are fading) and Edler, that is NOT a skill team. Kesler is a hard-nosed player, and after him, literally all of their forwards just aren’t good players. David Booth? Alex Burrows? Higgins? Kassian? Hansen?

    I’d take the Rangers roster over the Canucks roster any day of the week.

  8. Lololol I can’t believe he used “dog’s breakfast”!

    I know I didn’t make that up, but it’s super-rare verbiage, right?

    I mean, who uses it … other than me?!

  9. iWicky "Frag Out!!!" on

    Gift O Gab
    Great work man, great work.


    Calm yourself lover

  10. iWicky "Frag Out!!!" on

    I’d take Kesler, burrows, bieksa, edler over about any ranger on the roster.

    I wouldn’t take either coach tho ;)

  11. Gift of GAB-orik says SMASHVILLE on

    She wouldn’t want me to feel sorry for her.
    She’s a proud, tough woman. She would have wanted me to
    get out there and play, and I did just that. I’d like to think she brought me some puck luck last night.

  12. Doodie Machetto on

    Kesler is falling apart. He hasn’t been 100% since before the 2011 Final.

    Daniel Sedin’s production has been on a steady decline since 2011 as well.

    Henrik Sedin has been slightly declining since 2011, but I think that’s more of a result of a regression in hhis teammates than his overall play. This season he’s been battling through injuries to play really ineffectively until he finally (wisely) started to sit out games.

    Edler is a good defenseman, but I’d take McDonagh over him in a heartbeat. I’d take Marc Staal too, if he were to maintain this current form he’s been in.

    I like Bieksa a lot. Again, I’d take McDonagh over him in a heartbeat. But more fundamentally, I wouldn’t call Bieksa a “talented player.” I don’t think he’s more offensively talented than Staal, for instance. He’s more of a tough presence on the blue line. He’s what I wish Girardi was.

    So, as I have been saying, the talent level of the Canucks is grossly overstated.

  13. Doodie Machetto on

    While I still think guys like the Sedins are more talented than the guys on our roster, after them, it’s a pretty steep dropoff to the Chris Higginses of the world, whereas we have a lot of talented forwards from 1-9.

    For instance, give me every one of our top 9 forwards, save possibly Pouliot, over Higgins. And even in Pouliot’s case, I’m hesitant.

  14. Doodie Machetto on

    And when you get down to Burrows, Hansen, Booth, I’d even take our fourth line (counting Dorsett over Carcillo, that little carcillo).

  15. Doodie, very interesting and detailed assessment on the Canuck players / roster. Curious, Do you watch all the Canuck games or is it based on other data / scouting reports?

  16. Doodie Machetto on

    Papa, I’ve seen 5 or 6 games of theirs this year, and they were at varying points of the season. Other than that, it’s been media reports.

  17. Doodie Machetto on

    That’s this season only. I’ve obviously seen a lot of guys like the Sedins, Kesler, and Bieksa throughout their careers when Vancouver was more of a powerhouse.

    Edler was early in his career then, so it’s hard for me to give my impressions of him then much beyond how promising I thought he looked.

  18. iWicky "Frag Out!!!" on

    I hear ya re mcdonut. Not too many D men I would trade him for even though he plays a bit soft.

    That being said, I’d trade any of the other 5 starting D men for edler or bieksa for different reasons.

    I trade most forwards for burrows or Kesler who is just a bigger version of cally IMHO

  19. Doodie Machetto on

    None. I love the American women’s team, but they’re very even with Canada up and down the roster except between the pipes. I think Canada’s goaltending (Szabados) is slightly better than the US (Vetter), and so I think they get the gold.

    On the men’s side, I don’t think the US men have a snowball’s chance in hell to take the gold. I’d be very surprised if they medal at all.

  20. Doodie Machetto on

    Burrows? He of the 0 goals and 5 assists this year? That guy sucks. He was never particularly good to begin with, just a good fit chemistry wise with the Sedins.

  21. Burrows has put up pretty good numbers before this season. Seems like he’s been injured several times this season. 28 games played.

    Since 08-09 he’s put up 28 g, 35 g, 26 g, 28 g, and in the shortened season last year, 13 g.

    Sedin’s or no Sedin’s, I’d take a chance on him, depending on what his contract looks like.

  22. The Americans have been beating the Canadians over the last few games (with two brawls, right up Bonehead Alley!) but goaltending may indeed throw it the other way. The Finns have the best in the world, though, and the U.S. beat her. Can the Candians put the clamps on Knight?

  23. “In other news Jeff Hanneman got a traffic circle named after him in Poland.”

    Green got part of a traffic light named after him in Washington.

  24. The women have a shot at Gold. Definitely. Canada and USA are going to be an awesome matchup. Vetter is solid. And the women play a nice countering style. Like their play in the neutral zone and their defensive zone coverage

    But yea, Canada is solid.

  25. That’s what I think. The US women beating the Finns and Raty. Great game for the women there. That was a massive win for the girls after their international loss to Raty.

  26. Anyone else in the NHL having a baby that Micheletti can yak about during a two on one rush?

  27. Gift of GAB-orik says SMASHVILLE on

    Have you seen the pics of some of these women goalies?
    Wayne and Garth’s babe meter would be going bonkers.

  28. Rob in Beantown on

    Torts must have read “dog’s breakfast” on this blog from Miami Pimp when he coached in NY. That’s the *only* explanation I will even consider

  29. Country Musician Johnny Paycheck was bounced from the bar. Seems he was a little short on his Cash.

  30. Pete Seeger honored the Hudson River and Native Americans with his rendition of ‘A Buoy Named Sioux.’

  31. Famous 19th Century trapper and scout Black Beaver was a real fan of Red Snapper with Clam sauce.

  32. 9 years in the violin case, but someone will pull some strings to see that this all goes away

  33. CCCP – I took to heart what you posted yesterday about Russia, and could not agree more. A great historical literary and sports heritage co-opted by a few egomaniacal zealots!

  34. The NSA spends ninety billion trillion zillion spying on our emails and phone conversations and some 27 year-old non-entity has access to millions of highly classified documents, leaks them, and nobody knows nothing. Well done, comrades.

  35. Those Olympics in Judokheria Putistan become for Russians more than Battle for Stalingrad,Borodino or anything else in past history, based on Indian’s war calls from their officials, not to mention hysterical paranoia dominated Russian blogosphere. Amazingly, the main object is hockey(because of team character of it, associated by them with a military unit), despite of just one medal count. Country, with nothing much else to be proud of, still wants a revenge for “miracle on ice” and all other “nation’s humiliation”, all this in part of the process of “raising from their knees” (probably to take more comfortable “lay down” position).

  36. News anchor Sue Simmons several years ago on the 11 PM news to Metorologist Storm Fields after the overnight forecast of Snow never happened:

    “So Storm, where’s the 8 inches you promised last last night?”

  37. Carp,
    you don’t want to know, what’s really going on there…and attitude. It stinks and I mean it literally.

  38. Politicizing sport, sadly became kind of routine in our world, but Russian are giving to it new disgusting dimension, much above understandable fandom, shamelessly using it as an “Image of Enemy”, “evil them against spirited us” for internal use instead of real and normal politic toward own people.

  39. Why does Swiss cheese have all the holes when it’s the Gorgonzola that needs the ventilation?

  40. WQXR, in honor of Beatles’ 50th anniversary playing classical renditions that sound like funeral dirges.

  41. Ironic that Justin Falk is supposedly so valuable to have around that he no longer plays hockey.

  42. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny
    Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: “Some weeks Nick likes to
    use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.”

  43. For Manhattan, 3 fingers, twelve shells and twenty-four dollars. But, you still have to look across at Jersey.

  44. One American athlete offered on EBay a toilet security camera for a working doorknob and a pillow.

  45. “Torts must have read “dog’s breakfast” on this blog from Miami Pimp when he coached in NY. That’s the only explanation I will even consider.”


  46. let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it’s me, I’m a little effing crazy, but I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

  47. Rob in Beantown on

    “Carl Hagelin @CarlHagelin
    Long flight ahead. Relying on Phil Dunphy to keep me entertained. #sochi”

    I thought the NHL charters to Sochi would have been awesome party flights. Guess I was way wrong.

  48. Hagelin, stop worrying about party flights and start focusing on playing better hockey for the NY Rangers.

  49. Here is a fun fact for you all.

    Did you know that the Olympic ring that did not open during the Olympic ceremony in Sochi is the ring that represents America?

    Well played Volodya…well played.

  50. Good evening all! Great jersey Miami!

    and major congrats to Gabby for his tremendously tremendous effort!!!

    Really want 4ever, ilb and C3’s take on these Olympics…

    As for hockey, USA!!!!

  51. leetchhalloffame on

    Better get some sleep on the plane Hags. There is a bed of rocks and a bed pan waiting for you in Sochi.

  52. Eddie Eddie Eddie on

    I’d love to waltz into a lecture hall with a shiny frilly costume…do a double toe, triple saw cow, triple axle, sits spin, flying lutz and arrive at the chalkboard….

  53. Olympic break is already too long.

    Gift of Gab, kudos, really strong work, extremely thoughtful.

    Miami, great sweater, not even remotely bush league.

  54. Pimp, glad picked up the Home Blue Sweater and Not the road white.

    White would have been pure Bush-league.

  55. iWicky "Frag Out!!!" on

    NHL tonight guys all stating correctly that you have to be heavy and nasty to win in the playoffs…

    Slats needs to trade to get this team bigger and tougher by the deadline.

  56. Eddie Eddie Eddie on

    Where can I order a frilly sparkly tight fitting, with feathers and boas, figure skating costume?

  57. iWicky "Frag Out!!!" on

    Eddie x3
    Manny probably has several in his closet. He might let you borrow one.

  58. Miami,
    …”Can anyone tell me why the OFFICIAL Olympics site ranks GOLD medals ahead of TOTAL”…
    Because, from the very beginning, the idea was that there is ONLY ONE winner, and only that counts. Later, to measure so called national teams success, they started unofficially counting total medal counts.

  59. In other words – by design, Olympics are competition of INDIVIDUALS, not nationalities or countries.
    But like everything in our lives, it’s become not only totally commercialized, but politicized to the pukeable level.


    Thanks. Interesting.

    Call me ultra-patriotic, but I actually care about Team USA whoopin’ a$$ and taking the Medal Count. But if you’re going to rank countries and rank by only gold medal (i.e. Brazil with one gold could technically rank ahead of the U.S. who gathers 40 silvers) is silly.

    Then they shouldn’t award second and third place.

  61. eddie eddie eddie on

    There’s no need to fear! Underdog is here!
    when criminals in this world appear
    and break the laws that they should fear
    and frighten all who see or hear
    the cry goes up both far and near
    for Underdog! Underdog! Underdog! Underdog!

    speed of lightning, roar of thunder
    fighting all who rob or plunder
    Underdog. Underdog!

    when in this world the headlines read
    of those whose hearts are filled with greed
    who rob and steal from those who need
    to right this wrong with blinding speed
    goes Underdog! Underdog! Underdog! Underdog!

    speed of lightning, roar of thunder
    fighting all who rob or plunder
    Underdog. Underdog!

  62. eddie eddie eddie on

    manny – do you have one in tour closet that is sparkly and glittery? i am dying to get one

  63. eddie eddie eddie on

    Duclair scored 2 today…1 away from 50….5’11/6ft 185, 18 yrs old….should fill out to 205…fast skater, drives the net, good hands….could be the steal of the draft…

  64. eddie eddie eddie on

    The QMJHL sure produces offensive talent:

    Hockey Hall of Fame alumni of the QMJHL include Mario Lemieux, Guy Lafleur, Ray Bourque, Pat LaFontaine, Mike Bossy, Denis Savard, Michel Goulet, Luc Robitaille, and goaltender Patrick Roy.

  65. haven’t been on
    all day

    just stopping by
    to say

    sorry about your aunt
    going through that again

  66. Eddie Eddie Eddie on

    Yes, Gab….congrats on your generous gift and condolences for what your aunt is wrestling with…

  67. Census tester looking around Jeffrey’s apartment: “I see you have good taste.”

    Jeffrey: “I’m sure you do, too. We shall see.”

  68. Eddie Eddie Eddie on

    Jeffery – who’s for dinner?

    Mom – what? You mean what’s for dinner?

    Jeffery – whatever

  69. This is too weird for me…and I’m a carnivore. Back to the hibernation cave until after the Olympic break. Let me know if you see the three little bears and send them home.

  70. The Olympic break couldn’t of come at a better time for me. I could sure use the rest, recharge the batteries. I’ll be nice and fresh when we get back to playing.

  71. US-Switzerland women’s hockey game ended with a score only Miami Pimp could’ve predicted. Against the Rangers. 9-0, shots- 53 vs 10. Talk about lopsided.

  72. The Canadian women were hitting everything in sight against Switzerland. We could use a few of them on D.

    They can clear a crease. Stralman can not. Traid perhaps?

  73. I just watched an episode of The Real World to up my real quotient, Bear. It’s crazy, but I see it your way now. Great Advice! :)

  74. I would take a Canadian woman over Stralman Sundae any day of the week (and twice on Stralman Sundae’s)

  75. Rob in Beantown on

    Brodeur should just do the classy thing and retire at the end of the season instead of becoming a Brett Favre-like farce.

  76. So…when there is no Olympics or world championships or whatever…what do these hockey women do? Is there a regular women’s hockey league?

  77. I was actually wondering what these women do after college during the off season. Meaning when there isn’t an IIHF women’s tournament or the Olympics to worry about.

  78. Marty, forgetting about next year for a second, how many snacks is it going to take for you to sit down with Lou today? #askbroduer

  79. Rob in Beantown on

    Bob McKenzie @TSNBobMcKenzie
    Crosby between Kunitz-Carter, Toews between Sharp-Nash, Getzlaf between JT-Perry, that’s three seemingly defined lines and 5 Fs for 4th.

  80. How the frick does Carter even make the team let alone skate with Crosby? I feel Canadian and mad now.

  81. Manny – I was thinking the same thing, because the #7 & #17 the Lamoureau both are from Grand Forks, and graduated last year. They had their Silver medals from 2010 on display at the Ralph for everyone to see.

    Now we have 2 girls that play for Germany, and one from Finland playing on this years team.

  82. Rob in Beantown on

    Sarah Kwak @SI_sarahkwak
    USA lines: jvr-pavekski-Kessel; Parise-Backes-oshie; brown-Kesler-Kane; Callahan-stastny-pacioretty

  83. Rob in Beantown on

    Helene St. James @HeleneStJames
    Sweden lines: Landeskog-Zetterberg-Steen; Sedin-Backstrom-L.Eriksson; Nyquist-Berglund-Alfredsson; Hagelin-Kruger-J.Ericsson #Sochi2014

  84. Rob in Beantown on

    N2L19 Sports @N2L19Sports
    Russia’s top 3 lines today were: Ovi-Malkin-Semin, Kovalchuk-Datsyuk(didn’t practice)-Radulov, Tarasenko-Anisimov-Kulemin, 4th line all KHL

  85. They are insane. The thing about Russia, that makes them lethal, is Malkin and Datsyuk. They actually have two players that understand the defensive aspect of the game. Shivers…….

    I trust Bylsma. I guess he just wants to spread out the elite scoring talent but I would be shocked to see Patrick Kane get less ice time than TJ Oshie.

  86. @Real_ESPNLeBrun 21s Team USA forward lines from today’s practice: Brown-Kesler-Kane; Parise-Backes-Oshie; Kessel-Pavelski-JVR; Pacioretty-Stastny-Callahan…

    So what’s the first line!?

  87. Dave M doesn’t seem to give USA/Canada much of a gold chance. Says perhaps too much emphasis on speed. Tacitly, he’s saying we aren’t gritty enough. Can’t imagine what else he could mean.

    If that’s what he meant, he could say the same about the MSG product.

  88. I think the US team is pretty loaded with grit at the forward position. I think Brown, Kesler, Pac, *Backes*, Cally, Oshie & Parise are all rather gritty players.

    Few other guys are in the middle of the pack…Pavelski, JVR, Stastny (although he is pretty close to soft)

    Only forwards I would label as soft are Kane & Kessel but both are so skilled that they get a pass.

    D is a bit of a different story though.

  89. Alpo in a tin bowl, topped with freshly cut strawberries and sliced banana, a dab of sugar and a glass of freshly squeezed, ice cold orange juice.

    Now that’s a DogsBreakfast.

  90. Rob in Beantown on

    Is it the bonehead break too? Is there a hockey blog Olympics going on somewhere that I wasn’t selected for?

  91. Stranger Nation on

    USA has Stepan, right? They are very tough, he will play 5th line goon role and some PK if the other top 4 PK pairs are out

  92. I was at my Doctor. Sorry, *Rob*. I will be absent on Wednesday as well as I am having an Upper Endoscopy!

  93. Rob in Beantown on

    Ouch, Manny. I just Googled what that is and it looks *uncomfortable*. But it’s probably better than a *Lower Endoscopy*, if there is such a thing.

  94. How about that Fighting Sioux line with Parise, Oshie, with Backes in the middle. All WCHA college boys.

    I’m thinking that is our #1 Line :)

    Game Winning Gold Medal coming off Parise’s stick.

  95. It’s not the *worst* thing to ever happen to me. Hopefully it finds, and cures, this stupid *Ulcer* or Hamster that is in my stomach.

  96. Did anyone hear that buffoon Doc Emerick during today’s US – Swiss womens hockey game? He said that the US scored 5 goals in the first 20 minutes of the first period. I guess that they were shut out during the rest of the first period.

    PS – I hope the Rangers were watching the game. They might have learned something about how the game should be played!

  97. Rob in Beantown on

    My gut says Miller, the guy who has been there before, should be the number one. But I’m sure Quick will get a chance to prove himself during the preliminaries.

  98. The 1’st kid will graduate next year, and another to attend. So I’m thinking 5 more years of college tuition. Not sure what college the Dr. in the family is going to attend. She may take a warmer route, even though UND has a Med school.

  99. Rob in Beantown on

    I don’t think anybody ever told me you could go to school somewhere warm. If I had known that I wouldn’t have gone somewhere in *upstate* New York

  100. Sioux gets totally nasty when he’s wearing a UND sweatshirt and someone says, “Oh you went to Notre Dame?”

  101. From what I’ve seen each of the defense-women on both the USA and Canadian Teams skates, handles the puck, passes and shoots better than McIlrath.

  102. I recently came to really appreciate something we who participate here may take for granted. That is, we are free to add spicy “humor,” talk a little music, baseball, football, “hot women,” or whatever – in other words, go “off topic” on a slow day, or, really at any time.

    Given my comfort zone with the flexibility we enjoy here, on a slow day at an NBA blogger site I visit on a regular basis, I took the liberty of running a “regression” statistics break down of the relative merits of the careers of Michael vs. Magic, thinking it would be of interest to all, given that it is ~basketball~ site.

    Well, for starters, I was admonished by the host “to keep on topic,” but what was really unsettling was the fact that some bozo, going by the handle of “Dan Johnson,” well absolutely ballistic on me. Said he was quitting the site to go back to Bleacher Report, said no one goes to this basketball site anymore because of my math input, and vehemently trashed mine and all statistical methods used for interpreting the careers of professional athletes. This guy was close to “postal” he went off so crazily. All because I dropped some numbers re Michael and Magic on a slow day.

    So I want to say to Carp, thanks for giving us the latitude to be real people, rather than just robotic little “yes sir” type regimented morons. This is truly the most informative site of its kind out there, for both the contributions of the host and with credit also to those who visit here and add so much of interest and insight, and that is why we who come here and post here stay here year after year.

    Thanks Carp and everybody. Following our team through the ups and downs can actually be fun and be a nice social networking experience, where people keep it in ~perspective,~ with the knowledge that there is life beyond the immediate topic of discussion, much as we like the game of hockey and our team of choice.

  103. Robbie, what are you nuts? Save the sentimental slobbering for your girlfriend or wife. :)

    Just kidding of course. Well said Robbie and I couldn’t agree more. Carp is the man and Boneheads Rule on this, the worst blog on these Internets!

  104. ‘Only a complete and total moron would even THINK about posting anything here that has to do with ANYTHING other than who scored the night before and …’

    Zowie, Robby, you hit that one over the facade!

  105. Great post Robbie. I come here mainly for the jokes, to find out what metal band Manny is going to see and of course to trash BRich.

    Off topic? Nah.

    LGR !!!

  106. Thanks, my friends. And this is why this site is so heavily trafficked, and that other site is down to the janitor, and myself, for patronage.

  107. Where Ty? When? How?

    I haven’t seen it and I’ve been wondering if they were bringing back George and Abie this year!

    So freakin psyched!

  108. “Thanks, my friends. And this is why this site is so heavily trafficked, and that other site is down to the janitor, and myself, for patronage.”

    Robbie, so long as the janitor remains, things will start to pick up.

  109. no NHL in 2014…

    but you are right. Beating the Soviets with a bunch of kids… will never be repeated.

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