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  1. @KeepingItNashty 2m

    “@SNHockeyCentral: .@JSportsnet says he’s hearing Derek Stepan on verge of accepting a bridge deal with Rangers.” EEEKKKKSSS

  2. AV: ‘Fellas, we’re in the Metropolitan Division now. I want to see a bit more decorum out there.’

  3. Avery and Ash, grabbing a beer, see Torts sitting at bar. “Well, lookie lookie lookie who we got here.”

  4. Scott Arniel, writing PP plan on slate with chalk.
    DelZ: “I don’t get it. We used to have plastic.”

  5. Jeff in South Dakota on

    In the heat of battle my father wove a tapestry of obscenities that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan.

  6. Jeff in South Dakota on

    When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
    If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine.
    A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, ‘I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.’
    Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says ‘Dam!’
    Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
    Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’ The other says ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’
    Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

  7. This is cool actually starting the season ON TIME! Did Ulfie cheap shot anybody to get their attention yet ?

  8. I usually play in the high sixties, low seventies. And warmer than that, I prefer the bar. How old is THAT joke?

  9. The NHL Coaching Vernacular: ‘ ‘we’re just gonna go about our business’

    Just wondering, Is that a euphemism for ‘I gotta take a dump ‘ ?

  10. Poor Stepan, lost his SLATE, he’s low on COIN and his sister wont play PRETTY PRINCESS DRESS UP with him anymore.

  11. We lost the first period, we picked it up a little bit in the second, and we lost the third. That’s not satisfactory.

  12. My owner’s running around with a Fender guitar like Iggy Pop, dropping acid. Any more questions about why we’re floundering?

  13. AV: “We all have to be on the same page. What page are you on, Richie?”

    “Uh, looks like page 2.”

    “Dammit, you’re on the wrong page!”

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