Guest blogger: Papa Bear … Over/under for 2013-14

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Thanks Carp for asking to post my over/under suggestions as a Guest Blog. I guess it’s my turn to “stink”.

Boneheads, here are some of my suggestions for Over/Under pools for the upcoming season:

A) Ranger Point Total: 62

B) Kreider Goals: 47 (Note: If Torts was still coach over/under would have been on the # of times sent down and recalled)

C) # of times Eric declares “season over” before Christmas? 142?

D) # of Dan Girardi Snow Angels during season: 1820?

E) # of times Sam declares during broadcast… “great play by Staal”? 1650 (this includes any Staal brother, not just Marc)

F) # of times during the year Papa Bear refers to Nash as “Mister Softie” – 1240

G) Minutes into the actual season when someone on Bonehead Nation blogs “Richards sucks, we should have bought him out” – over / under: 1st period, 1st game, before Richards 3rd shift?

H) # of beers Kristo consumes before he suffers from late night frost-bite on a road trip to Winnipeg: 2 cans of St. Paulie Girl?

I) # of times Carp declares Rangers are playing with only “1 first line player”? 640?

J) # of times combined Mannu declares Kyle Jean, Brandon Mashinter or Dylan McIlrath the answer to our prayers: 860?

K) # of hy-phenated words posted by that Miami Pimp guy during the season? Not-enough?

L) # of Looney Tune Gravatars on blog used by someone other than blogger formerly known as Llatona – 0?

M) # of bloggers who jump ship and root for the Fishsticks after they win the Stanely Cup in Brooklyn in 2015: 3 Trolls and 2 Legitimate Boneheads?

N) # of times we take the blog over 1,000 in a day? Zero (unless Eddie 3X’s makes a comes back)

O) # of Boneheads calling for a compliance buyout of Nash instead of Richards going into next off-season (besides Papa Bear)? ………Scary thought, Huh?

P) # of Ranger players on the golf course at the start of the Stanley Cup Playoffs? 18 and 2 Goaltenders.

Q) # of Rangers traveling together on exotic romantic getaway and not on the golf course at the start of the Stanley Cup Playoffs? 2 (Del Zotto & Zuccarello)

R) # of ways one could combine/sequence the words “Is this thing on?” and still make sense? Lost count, but a lot.

S) # of times CCCP and his brother, (or is it his cousin?) ICCCP, refer to the off-season blogging as “brutal”? Probably a lot more if they happen to read this jibberish!

X) I’d add some more but I forgot what letter comes after S and I don’t want to embarrass myself any further.

U) When does the Travesty City prospect tournament start?

V) Warmest Regards Always to my Fellow Boneheads,

W) Papa Bear

T) Yes I agree,

Y) Nash played

Z) Good in the Playoffs.

SHHHHEEEEEEEESSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!

Photo by Brian Babineau/Getty Images.

 

 

 

 

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101 Comments

  1. You’re funny, Papa, on this “stinking guest’s blog” road, so, thank you for quality entertainment on the worst blog in the internet(s).

  2. coos, the back-to-back par-3s were a welcome relief after only one in the first eight. There are three of them on the back nine. But I really like the course. I go there in the fall when the rates drop, but they had a special yesterday because the greens had been spiked.

    Good morning, Sally!

    Great job, Papa!

  3. CCCP,
    BRUTAL – is Odessa’s humor and so was Benya Krik.
    This boredom is the cruelest torture. I rather spend this time in Gitmo,- at least they have a state of art soccer field….

  4. @kcarrera 1m

    #Caps make it official, Mikhail Grabovski signed to a one-year, $3 million contract.

  5. iWicky "Frag Out!!!" on

    Morning ILB and all!!

    Great job papa!

    Over/Under the number of times Wicky says this team is soft and lacks playable toughness…831

    Embrace the suck

  6. Apparently structured excercise is overrated. I burn more calories chasing my 13 month old all over the house than using my spinning bike.

  7. Can you believe Ben Affleck is the new Batman, Carp?!? If I had to pick a Batman for you, it would be Adam West my good chum.

  8. iWicky "Frag Out!!!" on

    ILB
    If its any consolation, I know a fantastic doctor. I think I can get you his number ;)

  9. Morning all,

    Been awhile since I posted here. Hope everyone’s well.

    Hey, Carp!

    Papa – thanks for the laughs. Good stuff and a reminder that the season really isn’t that far off.

  10. Did anybody see the outrageous prices for Rangers/Devils at Yankee Stadium? 79 for cheapest seats then 119, 149, 189, 229, 279, 299 and 349. YIKES. A lot of the seats will be awful. Devils season ticket holders get first crack on Sunday am.

  11. …and the best part is how they say the two-game ticket plan “includes” an exclusive knit hat and scarf…all for an included price of $25…unbelievable…so, basically, we can’t say no.

  12. Nice to wake up to an alphabetical hoot. Pappa’s Pop must have had a ’52 Nash Rambler of which he was not particularly fond. If Charlie Finley owned the team, he would have Nash skating with a long black cape.

  13. Hate those aerated greens, Carp. I remember playing those things and any putt left within the length of the flagpole was a gimme. I heard that Patriot Hills is a visual delight in the fall. Plus, I never met a convenient “leafie” I didn’t like. :)

  14. I’ve played with guys who give themselves those putts, even when the greens are rolling like a pool table.

  15. Whenever someone has a twenty foot putt, See, tell them to pick it up. People will like you, and as Yogi Berra says, if you don’t go to their funerals, they won’t come to yours.

  16. See, I remember Nicklaus saying that in match play, he always gave his opponent every putt within two feet until late in the round, when they would almost invariably miss it. Sorry for all the golf, but, hell, its August!

  17. Call me Pollyanna, but I have the feeling that Nasher is going to have a breakout year.

  18. Pick it up, its good, thanks Coos. Hope you’re right about Nash.

    Its not really news but at least its a Sather sighting.

    On Edmonton radio yesterday, Glen Sather spoke with Jason Gregor and Ryan Rishaug about the current contract situation of Derek Stepan.

    Stepan is unsigned and Sather was asked if he felt Stepan would have a contract when training camp starts.

    Sather said that the Rangers are looking to give Stepan a two-year “bridge” or “gap” contract like the organization has done with players in the past.

    He added that the plan will be for Stepan and the Rangers to work on an extension after he plays the first year of his contract.

    Sather said, “I am not going to give a long-term contract at this stage and he is a good player, a smart player, a good team guy. There is certainly nothing wrong with him but you need to wait a little while before you get the big bucks.”

  19. Wow, Glennie’s negotiating on the radio. If I were Steps agent, and had to settle for a bridge, which it looks like he will, I’d insist on a LARGE LARGE injury insurance policy courtesy of Mr. Dolan.

  20. Slather interviews on Edmonton radio and provides Edmonton fans with Ranger news and updates.

    Oh brother. Why have we allowed this arrogant and dismissive d-bag to continue to preside over our beloved team?

    I believe a Boycott is in order.

  21. Right. Grabovski is fiesty and talented and at 3 mil, would have been a useful and affordable #2 center if Richie had been jettisoned. Ever see Richards attack Chris Neil?

  22. Gotta love Papa Bear. He’s like a reverse werewolf. Daytime, he (correctly) skewers all the usual suspects, then after midnight, he’ll make you spit up your single malt in laughter. Seems like 20 years ago when we hit 1,000. :)

  23. Carp, kudos on the picture up ^ there.

    Here is a suggested cutline for the photo……..

    With Lou Cheese in close pursuit, a menaced Nash tumbles to the ice after suffering a sudden blowout of both his skates. Unnamed source in Ranger locker room, while drinking Sather flavored Kool-Aid, quoted as saying, “Nash played good”

  24. I like it when Papa gets fired up!

    From SNY Rangers
    In an interview with Edmonton Radio, Glen Sather was asked about the status of Brian Boyle and whether teams have been calling about him.

    Sather said, “I have had a lot of requests for Brian’s services but I am not anxious to trade him. He is a good player, a good team guy and he still has an upside to go with him. He is one of those guys that you may regret trading if you do and I am not anxious to do anything with him at this time.”

    Boyle is a UFA at this season and has a cap hit of $1.7 million.

  25. Coos, we’ll hit a grand again if:

    team really sucks

    or

    team is really good

    AND

    Eddie Three Times comes back to play

  26. CDubb, getting fired up is my defense mechanism in anticipation of suffering once again this year from the dreaded “lost season syndrome” (LSS).

    Unfortunately, I have a bad vibe that the team is about to enter into a downward spiral. It’s part of the Ranger life cycle, “The Circle of Sludge”

  27. eddie 3 had a bad experience with his wife’s injuries out in the hills. Hope she’s now OK and he soon finds his way back to the RR. Boyeeeeeeeeeeee!

  28. I never thought I think this no less say it, but I miss E3’s crafty rap-rhymes which would end with his signature shout-out of “boyeeeee”.

  29. 2-3 year bridge contract is the best they can do with the cap space they have left. He is an UFA in 4 years, any long term contract will require much more money in order to buy a few years of his UFA.

  30. Sather eschewing the NY Press and babbling in Edmonton is like Bloomberg giving the State of the State message in Dumfork, Arkansas.

  31. Are you stating that the State of the City of the State message has already been stated? Is that your statement?

  32. Inspector Clouseau to bumbling undercover detective at cocktail party who is dressed as a Zebra: ‘I’ll have your stripes for this!’ Whatever happened to the Inspector?

  33. Coos… If I remember correctly, Clouseau is vacationing in Bayonne, NJ. I bet he comes back when the night crew returns.

  34. The Avatar……On my IPAD from a distance, the four hooks within the Coat of Arms………. It looks like 3CP may be dabbling in some phallic imagery gimmick.

    Granted my eyes aren’t what they used to be.

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