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  1. Yikes, first? Hmmmm….cold, windy, freezing rain & sleet….the diehard boneheads will show up. Problem with these extravaganzas is that they really need to be flash-mob type events at the last minute according to the weather forecast that week…and large venues like Yankee Stadium are not willing to take that chance, even though they take a chance with the weather every time they schedule a baseball game. Their minds are still mired in the age of ticket stubs.

  2. Good afternoon all! I will not listen to the Bettman feed, no I will not….but love the Big ATM in the Bronx comment Carp!!!!


    I’m never one to hope the summer ends, but I am getting psyched….

  3. Jeff in South Dakota on

    Neekid chicks on motorcycles right now in Strugis, SD — God Bless America! Lots of summer left.

  4. This guy at my job decided to start walking home from work (5 miles) to save $50/Month on a Metrocard.


  5. Jeff, huh?

    Manny, sounds nuttier than the guy who used to get McDonalds for lunch and eat it in the morning …

  6. Oh man! I forgot about him, Carp. Thanks for reminding me. That guy was classic. He conducted a 3 day deposition and submitted 7 receipts from McDonalds for reimbursement.

  7. Bettman is usually at Stergis riding a vespa wearing leather knee-high boots a German WWI helmet and nothing else. He’s often heard yelling, “Watch the head!”

    He’ll be missed in SD this summer.

  8. Agree with all the boneheads’ recommendations from the previous post. Especially longer OT, fewer shootouts.

  9. And no one under 6 feet tall should be allowed to hand over the Stanley Cup, effectively eliminating Bettman and a horde of other jackazzes. Exception made for Zuccarello if he ever goes into league management.

  10. Sioux, going back to your earlier comment on the delay-of-game penalty … there’s no way to eliminate that penalty or players will fling the puck over the glass every time they need a breather … especially with the icing rule that keeps the offending players on the ice. If they can stop play by putting the puck over the glass, they’ll do it all night long.

  11. bull dog line on

    there used to be a delay of game penalty for shooting the puck over the boards if the the Refs felt it was done on purpose. that should be the way they do it now. it is a cheap penalty the way it is now. I remember 2 against the Rangers that were especially ridiculous. there was one with Drury where he tried to knock down a dump in, and it went off his stick and into the stands, and one with Tyutin, where he was getting smashed against the boards as he was trying to play the puck. they need to do away with the way it is now,

  12. Spending two minutes in the box for that is asinine.

    I do get your point though, Carp. I am often surprised that teams don’t ice the puck and then ice it again. You essentially get a full minute or more of a breather if you just ice it twice in a row.

  13. I just think, with the new no-change icing rule, guys can lift it into the seats whenever they need a breather. And they will be able to do it so the ref can’t determine if it’s on purpose. Maybe they can come up with a different sort of punishment. D-zone faceoff and no change, for starters. Loss of timeout? One defensive player has to line up out of the zone for the draw?

    One-minute penalty?

    I don’t necessarily believe this stuff. Just throwing it out there. I don’t fundamentally have a problem with the delay penalty as it is.

  14. Olga Folkyerself on

    DO NOT waste away your summer! In August, the Rangers are a real contender. All those prospects are going to be on the big team. Everybody is healthy or has time to mend. There is still time for Sather to make a great trade or acquisition (Yeah, Right…) AV is still a good coach until he proves otherwise. Lundqvist is unbeaten, line combos are endless. The other teams aren’t ready, they still have serious talent gaps and cap problems. In other words, there is still the hope of potential.

    By the end of September, the reality will start to kick in and training camp will start. Stepan will be holding out, Callahan has a broken wrist blocking a shot in an exhibition game. Sather will have done nothing, or signed some other has-been or cripple off the waiver wire and stick him on the first line between Nash and Richards. AV adopts the “5 in the Picture” coaching philosophy.

    By opening night you will look at the Rangers lineup and say “So, this is what we are going with? What about all that promising youth?” When the home opener occurs somewhere around game 9, the Rangers will be 3-6 and the desperate will cling to the idea that “this year they will be better at home”. Then they lose the home opener like they always do, Nash gets injured and Stepan is still holding out. Staal suffers another concussion, Richards has 1 goal and 3 assists and continues to man the point on the power play.

    The Devils go a surprising 10-1 to start the season, Toronto shows promise, the Islanders are even competitive and the Flyers finally get the goalie they have been looking for. Gaborik leads the league in scoring. The power play is now 0 for 47, Rangers are sitting in 7th place just barely above Carolina.

    And THEN, you will look back at August with teary eyes, saying “Why, oh why, did I rush through summer for THIS!?”

    And all I will have to say is FIRE SATHER yet again.

  15. Olga Folkyerself on

    Sorry Carp, That last post may be a little pessimistic. I got humped by a camel yesterday…

  16. Olga Folkyerself on

    Ohh, EASY! Credited with a goal off a defenseman and 3 secondary assists.
    None on the power play though, he won’t be able to keep it in the zone.

  17. Rob in Beantown on

    August lines?

    Nash – Stepan – Hagelin
    Callahan – Richards – Kreider
    Zuccharello – Brassard – Pouliot
    Boyle – Moore – Dorsett

  18. Interesting if you read between the lines from Blockness and Captain’s quotes yesterday.
    Cally hasn’t spoken to Torts since the firing and Girardi said that they loved him but are excited about the change. I’m pretty sure that confirms the players were bored by the grinding style and Torts antics.

    “I think we’re all excited to have a different feel behind the bench and get the excitement going”

    It’s probably a product of the core group being together for the last few years too and them growing as players, they need a coach who is going to trust their instincts more and give them more freedom.

  19. That is pretty telling. Thanks for the summation, UK (since I can’t really listen at work).

  20. Most of the player interviews these days are pretty vanilla (one thing i loved about Avery was he was rarely vanilla), i tend to look for whats not said or how players talk about others.

    I don’t think any one player would have triggered Slats firing him but if some of your senior players aren’t backing the coach to the hilt then the group (coach included) aren’t heading in the same direction.

  21. rangers come back from opening 9 game road trip no better then 3-6 without cally and hags. be 6 pts out of playoff spot. montreal 5 rangers 2 in home opener.

    game over season over

  22. Anything? Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you’re supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don’t feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And, uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think, well, maybe they’re silk panties, maybe it’s a thong. Maybe it’s something really cool that I don’t even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling… what? What, I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not?

  23. *Spanish*! Do you trust that we have provided you with enough rope so that your cinderblock will fall safely to the ground?

  24. Six weeks ago Abdul here had a one-way ticket to an arranged marriage with a broad he never met in Bangladesh. Now he’s crushing [Asham] every Thursday night at our mixers.

  25. Hey, hey. Careful with that. That’s the most powerful tranq gun on the market. Got her in Mexico.

  26. Frank here was staring at a white picket fence. Now he’s single, he’s broke, and has second-degree burns all over his body. And I see a spark in his eye that I haven’t seen in fifteen years.

  27. Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we’re going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don’t know, I don’t know if we’ll have enough time.

  28. Recent research has shown that empirical evidence for globalization of corporate innovation is very limited and as a corollary the market for technologies is shrinking. As a world leader, it’s important for America to provide systematic research grants for our scientists. I believe strongly there will always be a need for us to have a well-articulated innovation policy with emphasis on human resource development. Thank you.

  29. Gravy, Just Gravy on

    _Gravy – I made day 3, and played half the day. I was surprised they didn’t show that hand…._

    SPM, I’m sure I’ll catch a replay of that episode. I’ll keep my eyes open.

  30. Don’t say sorry to me. You let down Frank. You let down me. Most importantly, you let down Max. And right about now I’m having a hard time trying to figure out why I take time out of my schedule to help you get over… Max, can you earmuff it for me?…. That [Cuthbert] you dated.

  31. Well, Columbus wasn’t looking for America, my man, but that turned out to be pretty okay for everyone.

  32. Gravy they did bounce back and forth with Day 2 & Day 3 so you never know what’s going to make it on TV. My wife made it in more “knock out” frames standing on the rail.

    My fault for not lasting longer, I really wanted to put the Sioux Jersey on TV, but I needed that 3 way all in to hold. Oh well, big tourney this weekend in the Minneapolis, Tournament of Champions, so we will put a horse in that race and see how it runs.

  33. Gravy, Just Gravy on

    That was right after I lost control of my car in the aftermath of a snowstorm earlier that day and almost barreled into a flatbed parked on the shoulder of the NYS Thruway. Yet, she stuck with me.


  34. Gravy, Just Gravy on

    Wish I had more discretionary funds to splash around in the big tourneys. Have to settle for the dailies in AC.

    Good luck in Minny!

  35. Gravy, Just Gravy on

    Elisha Cuthbert (aka Sloppy Seconds) played a significant role in Old School.

  36. Gravy I started playing against hockey dads when our kids where 10 yrs old.

    Then started playing small tournaments for pride against our buddies.

    Along came the Heartland Poker Tour, and I started winning some bigger tournaments. All by qualifying in satellites. So you would be surprised how little of money you have to invest to get in.

  37. Still can’t quit my day job. The Oil Can is just to busy out here in the wild wild west.

    One of these days, it would be nice to score in a Big Tournament. How much fun would it be to be a professional rounder, and travel the world. I would be in Ireland right now playing for $1M pounds.

  38. Dear Bonehead Nation,

    Some thoughts for Over / Under pools for the upcoming season:

    A) Ranger Point Total: 62

    B) Kreider Goals: 47 (Note: If Torts was still coach over / under would have been on the # of times sent down and recalled)

    C) # of times Eric declares “season over” before Christmas? 142?

    D) # of Dan Girardi Snow Angels during season: 1820?

    E) # of times Sam declares during broadcast… “great play by Staal”? 1650?

    F) # of times during the year Papa Bear refers to Nash as “Mister Softie” – 1240?

    G) Minutes into the actual season when someone on Bonehead Nation blogs “Richards sucks, we should have bought him out” – over / under: 1st period, 1st game, before Richards 3rd shift?

    H) # of beers Kristo consumes before he suffers from late night frost-bite on a road trip to Winnipeg: 2 cans of St. Paulie Girl?

    I) # of times Carp declares Rangers are playing with only “1 first line player”? 640?

    J) # of times combined Mannu declares Kyle Jean, Brandon Mashinter or Dylan McIlrath the answer to our prayers: 860?

    K) # of hy-phenated words posted by that Miami Pimp guy during the season? Not-enough?

    L) # of Looney Tune Gravatars on blog used by someone other than blogger formerly known as Llatona – 0?

    M) # of bloggers who jump ship and root for the Fishsticks after they win the Stanely Cup in Brooklyn in 2015: 3 Trolls and 2 Legitimate Boneheads?

    Sorry guys couldn’t help myself. I had some time to kill as its raining down the Shore today,

    Warmest Regards Always,

    Papa Bear

  39. Gravy, Just Gravy on

    Maybe when the kids are a bit older (6 and 3 now), I’ll start playing some satellites. Need to make sure that I am able to commit the time.

    You’ve given me some hope that there’s still time.

  40. Gravy, Just Gravy on

    SPM, I always told my wife that if I had no obligations and could pick any job, it would be a professional poker player. I really just enjoy the whole experience, regardless of the amount being wagered.

  41. Gravy, Just Gravy on

    I also jumped the gun and gave her a smooch before the movie. I did so much wrong that I knew it was meant to be when she accepted the 2nd date. ;)

  42. Carp, we can always use it next summer. i’ll save it, take it out, dust it off, change a few names and numbers…., it’ll be good to go, no one will no the difference.

  43. Great job. Sometimes girls like a guy that isn’t afraid to just go for it. You’re obviously an over aggressive, scary man.

  44. Michael, I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything that I thought it could be.

  45. Jeff in South Dakota on

    Today marks 25 years since the most famous trade in NHL history; TGO to LA.

  46. Interesting article about the trade on NHL Twitter . Had to laugh when I read that the oilers pr man was on vacation because he had been assured by Sather the serpent that ” none of those rumors are true ..nothing’s happening “

  47. I’ll be honest with you, I love his music. I do. I’m a Michael Bolton fan. For my money, I don’t know if it gets any better than when he sings “When a Man Loves a Woman”.

  48. You know what I would do if I had a million dollars? I would invest half of it in low risk mutual funds and then take the other half over to my friend Asadulah who works in securities…

  49. So that means that when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That’s my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.

  50. yeah, that’s all we need is for Henrik to step on one of A-Rod’s used needles in the lockerroom

  51. Papa – I’m thinking 2 bottles of 2Gingers :) with a splash of Ginger Ale, and we are in business.

    Now where talking frost bite!

    He has a streak of Irish in him, red hair, and it’s on H$ll of a drink ;)

  52. Coos if only we could go back to college in the good ol days :)

    Hockey tickets were free, Belfour in net, …. all the hockey players stayed in Walsh hall on campus.

    Once we flooded the basement floor and played hockey in the halls. Funny how nobody got in trouble. Police yes. Trouble no.

  53. Bucky the Badger wasn’t safe either. Do you turn him in for $40 or throw him on the ice on Badger weekend?

    Mind you that was almost 4 cases of beer back in the day :)

  54. True Story.

    I got my first minor in possession at a home hockey game.

    Unlucky for me they pick on the cowboy in the riding coat, to check for whiskey. Whoops.

  55. Sad day last week. They just tore our old barn down.

    Good thing I got the seats out of the section we use to sit in :)

    I’m thinking they will make a good bench in the garage. With all the old Fighting Sioux Flags hung on the wall behind them.

  56. Marty send over a bottle of champagne with a card. Tough break get drunk on me use the ice bucket to ice down your marbles, yours, Z

  57. CCCP since we moved in mid July I’ve had about 2 dozen mosquitoes snacking on my type B

  58. Coos, this Jersey Shore stuff is way overrated. No really, it really is :)

    Sioux, Kristo should wear snow boots when making late night booty calls in blizzard conditions. Sneakers don’t cut it.

    Carp, A few more rainy days and I’ll get you that guest blog.

  59. I’m thinking the thought was – “if I run really fast over this packed snow drift I will get there faster” :)

    Who knew he was going to blow a tire, and lose the wheel?

    Personally, if it was me…… “I’ll leave the light on for ya” ……. just saying.

  60. Sterling and Waldman make me sick. Waldman: “Almost a complete standing ovation.” What a consummate tool.

  61. Cross Check Charlie on

    “Anyone with hockey news?”

    Yeah, I have a tournament tomorrow in Raleigh.

    That’s all I’ve got.

  62. Oh, and remember: next Friday… is Hawaiian shirt day. So, you know, if you want to, go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.

  63. @MrManager5 Guess it was Hawaiian shirt day at the construction site! pic.twitter.com/GhWHRA1ufm

  64. Pittsburgh Penguins star Sidney Crosby caused a brief stir when he walked into a Pittsburgh-area DMV on Friday.

    The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reported that Crosby went in to renew his license but did not have to wait in a long line like many of the other patrons. He benefited from a state DMV policy that allows celebrities to jump to the front of the line to avoid chaos.

    A spokeswoman for the motor vehicles department said that celebrities can be ushered to the front of the line if supervisors determine that it would help in “keeping control and keeping disruptions to a minimum.”

    Celebrities can have their agents arrange an appointment with the Pennsylvania DMV and have a local office manager promptly assist them.

    “I think, with his popularity, he’s going to get inundated and it’s going to be totally disruptive if he’s not taken,” said 52-year-old Paula Miles. “I’d rather have that than have a mob scene.”

    Read more here: http://slam.canoe.ca/Slam/Hockey/NHL/Pittsburgh/2013/08/10/21037676.html

  65. You could be happy here, I could take care of you. I wouldn’t let anybody hurt you. We could grow up together, E.T.

  66. Jim Furyk just ordered a case of 5 Hour Energy delivered to Room 417, Hyatt Regency Rochester. Test him, Dano.

  67. That’s really fancy how you have two different avatars and can use them based on from what device you are posting on. Kudos.

  68. Good morning, boneheads!

    Leaving in a few for a week of tennis. Hope the weather stays cool upstate. If someone is around exit 20 on Thruway and wants to stop for a drink, let me know.

  69. Breaking Bad finally comes back for what will be the Fi-nal count dowwwwwn! You know it’s bad when you’re looking at the calandar together trying to make sure the series finale will take place before your wedding day while discussing the notion of dvring it in the honeymoon suite…

  70. Funny but I am rewatching the first part of the final Breaking Bad season right now. Best. Series. Ever.

    Excited for tonight’s new episode!

    I think Pinkman will kill Mr. White.

  71. it is verne lundquist. cooscoos you resemble a bitter mets fan and carlos belTRAN is jon miller not verne lundquist

  72. 1. Ban the OCD readjusting of batting gloves after each pitch.
    2. Stop with the four wide and just trot the goof down to first on an intentional walk.
    3. Put the clock on slow pitchers.

  73. Miller, not Lundqwist. I’ve had it with both of them, goodness gracious, Miller especially.

  74. Thanx for the gratuitous spelling lesson, tcO3. I have to remember “i before e except after c.” Isn’t that weird?

  75. Rob in Beantown,

    Here’s my take:
    Kreider-Brassard-Nash; worked well in the playoffs, why not give it another shot?
    Hagelin-Stepan-Callahan; those guys were the most consistent line down the stretch.
    Pouliot-Richards-Boyle; kind of a weird line, but has some pop to it.
    Pyatt-Moore-Dorsett; just a good, solid fourth line, IMO.

    Then on defense:
    Del Zotto-Moore.

    Two lefties on the bottom pairing is a bit strange. But otherwise…I think the grim predictions about the Rangers are expected. But I really like this team. I think we could be in for one hell of a good season.

  76. The Rangers really need to get rid of Stralman. Move Moore up to the 2nd pair and bring up Mcllrath.

  77. UKRanger,

    I don’t think one can look at the Rangers’ special teams and not come down to the conclusion that Torts should have been fired. That said, I’d bet the players didn’t call Torts out directly, but rather they pointed to the area of their game that lead to their failure. Crank the Rangers PP up to 25 percent and the PK up to 85 percent and they might have stood a chance against the Bruins. So my take is they came to that conclusions too, and though Sully was allegedly running special teams, he was Torts’ guy. In other words, chop from the top.

  78. Carp,

    Hahah. True dat. Touche.

    Still, that goal Kreids and Nasher partnered on was a thing of beauty.

  79. Manny,

    I saw a bunch of Whale games live last year and I would be very surprised if McIlrath makes the team out of camp. He’s got the body and skill to play the NHL game, IMO, but his head just isn’t there yet. He makes a lot of boneheaded moves that leave you wondering what the hell he’s thinking. But that said, he’s got a bright future ahead of him. He’s like a cruise missile when it comes to hitting. All it takes is one hit from him to get players to avoid his side like the plague. He’ll be up at some point next year, I’d say. Just not for a while though. He needs experience.

  80. Thanks for the take, Phil. I have only seen him live once so I can’t really speak on it the way you can.

    I just think Stralman needs to be replaced because he will be exposed in a new, uptempo system.

  81. I love the idea of Kreider and Nash on the 1st line. I just want them centered by Stepan or Richards (I know but if he’s still on the team he better perform like he’s supposed to).

  82. I wasn’t a fan of Stralman either. Kind of saw him as expendable. That was until last season. He had a very solid year and actually played good D. I know it’s a Micky Mouse stat, but he was third on the Rangers in +/- last season. Played very solid in the POs too.

  83. Foghorn Leghorn on

    “He’s got the body and skill to play the NHL game, IMO, but his head just isn’t there yet. He makes a lot of boneheaded moves that leave you wondering what the hell he’s thinking.”

    Are ya, I say, are ya talking about Dan the Man? Girardi, that is.

  84. Gravy, Just Gravy on

    Stralman was decent, and he’s played for the Blue Jackets, so he’s guaranteed a roster spot.

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