About Author


  1. As the playoffs round into shape many of us must be forced to call our manhood (or lack of womanhood) into question. Sprouts that begin to develop on our faces will be allowed to grow unruly rather than trimmed in the spirit of American professionalism. As our Jewish friends ask every Pesach, “Why? Why is this night different from all others?” Because, my friends, it’s the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Because it’s the Cup!

    So in the spirit of the Stanley Cup Playoffs and in support of your heroes, the New York Rangers, we will be hosting the Lockout Shortened 2012-2013, Bonehead only, Semi-Annual, Paul Mara Playoff Beard Contest once again. All boneheads wishing to participate should email their “before” picture to the official contest email: paulmaraplayoffbeard@gmail.com. Pictures will be posted on the official contest website: http://semiannualpaulmaraplayoffbeardcontest.wordpress.com/

    As usual, prizes will be glorious and well thought out. As contest chairman I can guarantee fairness, equality and a chance for boneheads of all genders, creeds and sympathies. I also promise to not just willy-nilly award the prize to Sally (as usual).

    Beards are no longer just for Avatars.

  2. Manny as a pathetic beard grower I want to just say that I’d rather sport the beard of a teenager than have the hair curse of Robin Williams. I may not be able to look like Paul Mara, but at least no one sells my photo to national inquirer when I take my shirt off at the lake.

  3. awesome job dude! and “this is not a beard it’s a stupid stupid mullet” may be the best quote ever!

  4. If I had shirts made up for my team I’d have them say “The Cup. We want it. So you give it. Now!”..actually I think the Pens wear those..

  5. BroadwayRoe on

    Won’t ask this in the chat – but just out of curiosity, what did Matteau do?

  6. Young Stefan Matteau abandoned his minor league team and went home because of a dispute with the Coach/GM. Something like that. He literally QUIT.

Leave A Reply