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  1. That car seat stuff makes me laugh out loud. I can picture Torts in the back seat complaining about his old man’s driving. Did I miss Ovechkin’s and Hagelin’s tonight, or did the NHL finally tell them to dress properly?

  2. Re post::::: Papa Bear March 24th, 2013 at 10:53 pm

    Romeo, I don’t mean to question you….I agree, Kreider should have been on the ice during OT……If I were coaching,,, for shore.

  3. eddie eddie eddie on

    Torts “I’m not strapped in…pull over and strap me in my $%^&&*^&&* car seat

  4. City Medical Examiner on

    Mr. Cooscoos, Ledge Landlord and Security will remain in place even after Papa has left the ledge.

  5. Leetchhalloffame on

    PA Parenteau = 15G, 16A for Avalanche. Another great move by Sather throwing him away for nothing.

  6. Great hockey game. (except for the Skills Breakaway Competition at the Conclusion of the Hockey Game)

    Seriously, you have to like how they came back in the first. The 4th line gave the team a spark and they delivered. Great jobs by Newbury and Asham in this game. It was a good all around game. Could have gone either way.

    Heady goal by Stepan.

    Horrific diving call on the coincidental minors. I mean, what a stupid call… Diving? Really?

    There are plenty of positives about the way they played…unfortunately, it is very late in the season to still be figuring it all out…

    I hate the Breakaway contest.

    Carp, sorry I couldn’t meet you guys during warmups. Had dinner before the game…

  7. eddie eddie eddie on

    Torts – “turn that &%^**^%$% radio down before i try to reach out and kick the back of your (*^&^%%^&^^ front seat…….and I’m still not strapped in”

  8. City Medical Examiner on

    All reports right now are that Papa is leading the group in renditions of Kumbaya.

  9. Mr. Tortorella to wife: “The next time that kid in the back tells me to shut up and keep my eyes on the road, I’ gonna hit the brakes heavy, and whatever happens, happens.”

  10. Sully to Torts: “I got your back John, ,, I got your back..”

    Torts to Sully: “What about that Schoney mother f……..clker. Who has eyes on him, Sully?”

  11. eddie eddie eddie on

    Torts “if you dont pull over and strap me in, i swear i will kick your ^%&%%$$#%^&^%$% assen when we get home”

  12. On a more serious note, I can accept going for tips, but can anyone besides McD put the puck on net one out of 20 times?

  13. I don’t think they should fire Torts, trade Gaborik or DelZ.

    I do think they need to seriously consider buying out Richards this summer. Man, I tried and tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but if he was to quit hockey after this season and write a book, it would be called “Memoirs of an Invisible Man”. Sometimes I forget he is even on the team.

    If you are trading Gabby for a guy who can net 30 goals and bring toughness to the team then maybe you do it, but if you are trading him for an aging Dman because he is a good “torts guy” and “good in the room” you can save it. I want no part of that bulljive. Torts already has one boyle on his arse, he doesn’t need two.

  14. Nyr- Fan, agree totally. Even though they struggled late in the game it was an exciting game. I think it’s the first time this year that it felt like last year.

  15. eddie eddie eddie on

    as torts’ car drives along

    people on the sidewalk – “hey, is that torts in the back in a car seat?”

    torts – “&^^$%$^%^&& yourself”

  16. stranger nation on

    unfortuneately (or not?) missed game and just logged in

    #1 star Ass-ham

    #2 Newberries

    ok – I’m caught up now

    any color from my bruthas?

  17. I am imagining Carp sitting there with tears running down his face and I am cracking up now. My wife thinks I am absolutely insane.

  18. And, I thought Kreider had an excellent 2-way game tonight. He isn’t going anywhere if he keeps it up…

  19. eddie eddie eddie on

    at the drive thru window at some burger place

    “what would the lil fella in the car seat like?”

  20. NYR_FAN I agree about Kreider. He definitely used his speed and body much better tonight. There was one shift where he and Nash really laid down two big checks.

  21. eddie eddie eddie on

    Torts – “when i get home, I am gonna get on my little bench, brush my teeth, and go straight to bed….this team just sucks”

  22. Chris seems like he’s doing his homework and coming to class more prepared – finally.

  23. Little Torts in carseat to Pops: “You know where to shove the Happy Meal. I’ll have the lobster tails, you fat…”

  24. Its pretty bad. I’m on realty.com looking for log cabins in the mountains of West Virginia.

  25. eddie eddie eddie on

    Torts’ dad – “you say one more bad word, and you will be sleeping in your car seat tonight…we will not unstrap you”

  26. stranger nation on

    Rangers up to their old tricks?

    Need to switch back Locker room coffee pot back to French Roast from Sanka. What is with slow starts at home?

  27. Mr. Torts: “Funny, he was always pretty good with the Power Plays when he was strapped in the back.”

  28. eddie eddie eddie on

    speaker phone at drive-in burger place – “can you speak up”

    torts – “i want a #$^^%%$%^&^ happy meal”

    speaker phone – “i am sorry i can hear you”

    torts – “i said i want a ^%^&%$$%^^^& happy meal”

    speaker phone – “i still cant hear you….are you in a car seat?”

  29. “When I get big, I’m gonna join the Marines and come back and bulldoze all a yiz “

  30. “Dad, push that button so the window goes down. I’m gonna give this skirt a piece of my mind.”

  31. Yes, it was a slow start. But, they showed a lot of resilience coming back later in the first.

    Asham scored a highlight reel goal.

    And, the gritty 4th line forechecking and work down low basically led to a power play goal…

  32. eddie eddie eddie on

    imagine torts in a restaurant, sitting in his booster chair, swearing at the waitress

  33. Yes, but Mr. Tortorella, if you would like the happy meal, you need to shave your goatee

  34. eddie eddie eddie on

    torts – “how in the hell am i supposed to reach up and grab a dish out of the cabinet?”

  35. Torts was unhappy when John Scott left. He used to use him on weeknights to hand him down soup from the high cabinets.

  36. NYR R ….The only work down below that’s worthy of talking about for me happened several years back.

  37. eddie eddie eddie on

    torts – to waitress “ok…we are ready ..bring me the check and let me down please”

  38. eddie eddie eddie on

    Torts’ dad to torts’ mom – oh look honey….he fell asleep in his car seat…don’t wake him”

  39. eddie eddie eddie on

    torts – “i’m not sleeping…just resting my eyes…..now roll the %$^$^^&%$$%^ window down”

  40. Mr. Torts after stomping on little Torts’ foot: “No offense, junior.”
    Torts” “Story of my life.”

  41. eddie eddie eddie on

    announcer

    and playing point guard, standing 4 ft 9, john tortorellllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaa

  42. Richards will eventually end up down there and ruin that, too. Sorry, Rich, just sayin’.

  43. Did not watch the game yet will shortly.

    Newbury has 1 less point on the season then Boyle.

    Only 1 ranger has 10 goals or more.

    Rangers are the lowest scoring team in the east at present by 5 goals . THe Panthers have 5 more goals scored the nthe Rangers, let’s complain about the golatending and defense…..

    Halpern is gone, that is good. More moves need to be made.

    Asham has more goals then Powe, BOyle and as many as Miller and Kreider…..

    What a train wreck, make moves now…..

  44. I knew Asham had some skill, he not terrible. I didn’t know he be our best player tonight.

  45. Torts: “I always looked up to my Dad and, unfortunately, I don’t see any chance of that changing.”

  46. Was there – other than that 8-10 minute stretch with the PP goal and the ther goal, they were the much better team all night. Think this was one of those games where the worm is turning the right way but you dont end up with a win. They will beat Philly and Ottawa and get a point off Montreal. Much better. And they are MUCH better with Kreider in the lineup and playing the way he did – he was fantastic, just kept moving his feet, using his body to hunt down pucks. Once Miller comes back I would bench Richards – yes, Richards. Richards is absolutely dreadful.

  47. CCCP, you saw it in living color. We only hear what SalmonJoe tell us. Nice little novel they spun tonight again about some nonsense while the action was hectic.

  48. Call me crazy, and I know our problem is scoring, but I think Ash and Haley bring a necessary zest, especially now that they have proved their discipline.

  49. if asham could stay healthy, he replaces prust. I always liked Asham when he was on the islanders, he has some skilled, not just a goon.

  50. coos

    This was a terrible game! they were chasing the puck all game long…their passing game is the worst… if wasnt for Hank this game woulda been over pretty quickly…no real chances…everything came from the side of the net nothing from in front… i just dont understand this strategy… Gaborik used his “deke, back hand, through the five-hole” move for the gadzillion time on the breakaway again tonight… having such a deadly wrist shot why force the same move over and over again? the whole league knows it already….they did not deserve to win this game and they are lucky to get a point outta this one

  51. not for nothing but not even prust could have snapped that wrist shot top right top shelf.

  52. Eddie Eddie Eddie on

    You need toughness in this league.. Ash and Haley bring good energy…. Sit Richards when miller comes back and bench pysee for Haley

  53. I guess Peter and i were watching two diff. games ;)

    btw, peter…it was nice meeting you tonight at the Garden.

  54. again, like I’ve been saying, this is a flawed team, surprise if they make the playoffs unless something changes.

  55. Pysie has hands of brick, but I would park his grim countenance in front of the net anyway and let him earn his living.

  56. ThisYearsModel on

    Kreider gets put on Richards’ line because Torts wanted “someone who could chase pucks” on their line. So the idea is to dumb down Kreider’s skill set to that of Carl Hagelin? Why can’t the coaching staff coach to the strengths of their players instead of the opposite? I just don’t get it.

  57. Eddie Eddie Eddie on

    Byfuglien refs gift wrapped the penguins’ win…. A ton of penalties not called on them tonight vs filthy

  58. Ria( the silent bonehead) on

    I not only had to get tissues to wipe the tears rolling down my face I had to blow my nose & have something to drink. LMFAO

  59. eddie, eddie, eddie – some of the stuff both humor and hockey was so good tonight, I’m going to re-scroll tomorrow.

  60. Ria( the silent bonehead) on

    Thanks coos been under the weather the pass few days but as always i’m here reading & when i’m not my sister inFla. calls to let me know what i’ve missed.

  61. If the rangers don’t make the playoffs, tortorella might not be around to coach the team next year.

  62. Seems Gabby does not want to live out his years in Slobovalosckivikia with an aching neck. So, he gives you what he will.

  63. Ria( the silent bonehead) on

    So Kenny Albert is on mike’d up & they show “highlights” of the Rangers against the ice birds.

  64. Eddie Eddie Eddie on

    Torts will get a pass if they miss the playoffs…. Last year was fantastic… This year shortened season…..

  65. TommyG – I think Ash and/or Haley could sufficiently replace Prust if given the minutes. I know that’s anathema to Prust fans, but I can see it.

  66. Torts: “Short season is no excuse.”

    If Rangers eliminated, “the short season hurt us.”

  67. If old Steinbrenner ran the Rangers, “Get something for Richards, shop Gabby, play Kreider, have Ash and Haley kick some assets, and let’s get this show on the road.”

    Sather: “Yes, boss.”

  68. Torts to Pops “And what’s with these idiot mittens? You afraid you might have to buy a new pair if I lose one, Rockefeller?”

  69. Mr. T: “You don’t like what I have to say, pull the ear flaps down on that silly hat your mother bought you.”

  70. I kind of miss Ovechkin spinning around seated on the ice for ten seconds like the old days.

  71. Ria

    (in Sam Rosen’s voice) Yes, he is.

    coos

    i had some with me but since Carp didnt want to see my Ovechkin briefs i decided not to share my greens with Carp :D

  72. old steinnbresnner made plenty of mistakes…..

    miller healthy for next game who do you sit? Newberry deserves another game. I sit powe….

    man they iss Staal at this point.

    I watched parts of the game but not the whole thing.

    could have won tonight no different then the panthers game… they just have no finishers….

    gabby and richards, are killing them. sure richards is much worse then gabby but he could not be traded for a bag of pucks…

    you want to cry, read the stats on this team offensively.

    OUCH……….

  73. Sioux-per-man on

    Carp – now that we got a point and are back in Hot Dog territory.

    Is it to early to play the “We control our own destiny card”? We win and were in ?

    Hank says the playoffs start on Tuesday!!

  74. Newbury definitely deserves more of a look. I know it’s the AHL, but he does have a point a game and if it’s not my imagination, he somehow gives the Kreider a bit of needed confidence just by his presence.

  75. Eddie Eddie Eddie on

    I think the rangers have a 10 game winning streak inside them…. Hank is starting to shine… He will pitch a shutout against filthy…

  76. Fat Guy in Cali on

    On this Passover Eve, I’d like to start a countdown of the ten Rangers’ plagues:

    10. Locust filled penalty killing unit

  77. Car Seat? He would just look at his bodyguard with a puzzled frown, and the bodyguard would say, “conference concluded, gentlemen.”

  78. Eddie Eddie Eddie on

    Getting hot at the right time is everything…. Can they do what kings did last year? A big trade put LA over the top .. Gabby for who?

  79. When Stepan scored in the shootout, Tortsie looked at Sully, smiled and said: “Did the coach tell you, or did he tell you, son?”

  80. Fat Guy in Cali on

    8. And on the eighth night, The Lord broughtest forth head injuries to allst of thine most important players in the land of -Egypt- MSG

  81. “It was Sunday, and according to his custom on that day, McTeague took his dinner at two in the afternoon at the car conductors’ coffee joint on Polk Street.”

  82. Sergeant: “Anybody here had any college?”

    “I have a year and a half, Sarge.”

    “Good, grab that shovel and follow me.”

  83. Just got it from Scarsdale library. Have to finish Meriwether Lewis first. He isn’t even half way up the Missouri River yet.

  84. Fat Guy in Cali on

    7. And onst thy seventh night after again refusing to let the players goeth, the post game locker room ran red with blood

  85. I like the vernacular writing from the first page. He has a ‘voice,’ which is too often absent in fiction.

  86. Fat Guy in Cali on

    6. And onst the sixth night, the warrior called Carp banned the first born son of all Islander and Devils fans

  87. And on the Fifth night, Papa Bear opened another fifth of Black Bush and a fifth of Tullamore Dew.

  88. Fat Guy in Cali on

    You know another thing that the story of Passover has in common with the story of the 2013-2013 Rangers? We know how both stories end, and it ain’t pretty

  89. well maybe he can unlead another team in scoring? Because this team has at least 7 guys who can unlead in scoring on regular basis

  90. “Boyler, I want you on the next shift to go out there and put one between the pipes.”

    “Right, coach, but do you have a doggie bag or something; I’m sure they’ll make me clean it up.”

  91. Eddie Eddie Eddie on

    And now in my cell when I followed you, here’s a list of who I slew, Reggie Kray, do you know my name?

  92. Torts’ new nicknames for top 7: Sleepy, Dopey, Sneezy, Grumpy, Happy, Bashful, and Doc.

  93. Eddie Eddie Eddie on

    In the gate, first time he was aboard slew, waiting for the others to be loaded in…. Slew firmly plants all 4 hoofs down and starts berating hard, furiously…. Cordero said he was psyching himself up to run… First time he ever saw/felt a horse do that…

  94. I wouldn’t say he was happy with the point, Sioux, but I think he’s smart enough — as are many of you — to realize that it was essentially a tie game, and then a coin flip for an additional point. If the coin flip goes the other way he’s doing cartwheels, and so are you guys. (assuming he’s been unbuckled from the car seat).

  95. Ron Turcotte said that when Secretariat made a move, he just held on, nothing he could do.

  96. Eddie Eddie Eddie on

    Torts “ok, roll the window up. I’m getting #%^{}#%^* cold sitting back here”

  97. Was just thinking, the Rangers would have been undefeated in shootouts if they had those stupid things when Mike Richter was playing.

  98. Eddie Eddie Eddie on

    Torts – “turn the ]{}#%^*+*^%## radio up, I love this |~€£*^%#}{ song”

  99. Eddie Eddie Eddie on

    Richter scale – loved that guy – a big reason they won that cup…. Under rated in my opinion

  100. Eddie Eddie Eddie on

    The devils series and the cup final in 94 are the only things better than last year… Last year was better than 79 in terms of drama….. But my memory might be jaded

  101. Still think this team is capable of making a little noise. Gabby has to start burying some. Richards, sadly, I have no faith or hope. He should get a few, but the glory that was Rome is of another day.

  102. Eddie Eddie Eddie on

    I was in the waiting room one time and this old guy comes running in screaming emergency – he had yanked some hair out of his ears and began bleeding like a sieve.

  103. Eddie Eddie Eddie on

    I was watching some of Domi’s fights on hockeyfights dot com…. Man, what a left hook he had

  104. Eddie Eddie Eddie on

    Totally snake bitten – gabby

    Domi – probert and the title belt buckle up

  105. Eddie Eddie Eddie on

    Never liked that thing around his neck – not many recent rangers wore #3. Ronnie Harris – early 70’s and Patrick

  106. Eddie Eddie Eddie on

    No doubt – hockey players are a rare breed – greatest athletes in the world.

  107. Even an on ice official lost a tooth or two the other night, had it dabbed up by a trainer, went back to work.

  108. Eddie Eddie Eddie on

    Amazing really.. Badly cut – 15 stitches – back out after being stitched up – nary miss a shift

  109. Eddie Eddie Eddie on

    My weather app says its 40 in the city but snow in the forecast tomorrow (today)

  110. Czechthemout!!! on

    I would like to congradulate coach Tortorella, coach Sullivan, and the rest of the Rangers crack staff. We now have the last ranked offense in the league. 73 goals scored! I believe 3 of which are empty net goals, that is patheitic 70 goals or barley 2 goals a game. But than again, the Coach is on record as saying that he doesnt coach offense so there you go.

    Keep drinking the Tortorella kool aide.

  111. That was the Caps 4th in 6 nights on the road…coming from 2 in Winnipeg…we just let a completely tired team take 2 in our barn….thats garbage…

  112. Anyone thinking the way I am, time to roll four lines, skate ultra-short shifts, get the — pardon my French — goldarn tempo up with this team until they get their confidence back? Yeah, me, too. Here’s for coaches’ consideration, free of charge. Seriously, they can use this master plan of mine free of charge:

    Each line gets a speedster, Hagelin, Gaborik, Kreider and Nash (OK, maybe he’s not as fast but he can take a stretcher and go in alone). Pair each with a center and you get:
    Hagelin – Stepan
    Gaborik – Richards
    Kreider – Newbury
    Nash – Boyle

    Throw in the other wing and it’s:
    Hagelin – Stepan – Asham (the latter will have to get in shape quick)
    Gaborik – Richards – Callahan (will either dare coast alongside the captain?)
    Kreider – Newbury – Powe (at least two have played together)
    Nash – Boyle – Pyatt (well, they’re big, Boyle can win you a faceoff)

    Leave Del Zotto out there for another 25+, and every shift the other team has to worry about stretch and speed. Again, this superb outside-the-box plan comes gratis.

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