It’s Go Time! … NHL awards show edition

345

The show is scheduled for 7 p.m. on Versus, er, OLN, er, NBCSports. Live from Vegas, the money grab of all money grabs … unless somebody in the NHL marketing department thinks there’s an Original Six team out there somewhere.

Whyzerman?

Well, at least they didn’t hire Drake this time, because he and his posse might be in a little hot water after that NYC rapper brawl the other night. Nice choice, there, NHL. And they did manage to round up a pretty crappy band in Nickelback and a whole boatload of B- and C-list celebs.

The awards contest is now closed. No more entries, please.

For an hilarious look at the awards finalists, please check out our friend LW3H’s blog, Springing Malik, by clicking here.

The schedule for 2012-13 is expected to be released tomorrow late morning.

About Author

345 Comments

  1. It was nicely rounded previous thread – 300.
    Jpg,
    No problem, buddy. Well deserved.

  2. I say the league pulls a surprise and hands all the award to Nash. Only to have Howson come onto the stage and start auctioning him off to the highest bidder.

    What? That’s what this whole saga feels like.

  3. I hate that Nickelback song that the NHL has apparently adopted as it’s “theme” song.

    Almost as bad as R-A-N-G-E-R-S…but not quite….

  4. All the bloody highlights they’re showing for best defenseman are offensive plays. Pathetic.

  5. so far not too impressive…

    got my dvd in the mail carp! thanks for sending it over!

  6. JimboWoodside on

    Tracy Morgan on the Rangers? Does any other team get goofed on like this!?

  7. JimboWoodside on

    This is an insult – why don’t they goof on the Flyers? They own the team…

  8. They goof on the Rangers because people give a %$#& about the Rangers (and because celebs live in NY, so they’re available to tape).

    More importantly, is Quick gonna rip off Hank?

  9. JimboWoodside on

    How many years has this goofball been in North America? Frankenstein-looking mutha……

  10. Igor got his first award of the night…

    His English is embarrassing! I’d be ashemed to even open my mouth

  11. JimboWoodside on

    Probably, ORR – but it should have been taken away from him immediately because he can’t speak English…Well, Hitchcock!

  12. ThisYearsModel on

    Everybody Hates Tortorella. They give the award to Captain Kangaroo. Unreal.

  13. Czechthemout!!! on

    See, I told you all that the league hates the Rangers! 0-2. Fargin ice holes. They can all go farg themselves and their fargin trophies! Bunch of wimps and cork suckers!

  14. JimboWoodside on

    Tracy Morgan, George Wallace, Kevin Weekes…Think the NHL is playing a defensive game here..?

  15. JimboWoodside on

    >>>Malkin should ask Siri to do his interviews for him.

    Siri will have to be reprogrammed to sound like Wanda Sykes first…..

  16. Czechthemout!!! on

    Malkin is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Erin Andrews for fourth line on the Rangers replacing Rupp. She would cheer up the room just by showing up.

  17. So he actually could have won the Con Smythe one year and the Calder the following.

  18. JimboWoodside on

    Carp, I thought Jay Mohr and the “musical” act last year couldn’t be surpassed – but I was wrong!

  19. ThisYearsModel on

    Landeskog’s mother has it right……she is in Hawaii instead of attending this disaster.

  20. JimboWoodside on

    Is this Landeskog guy Swedish? He speaks better English than….well, almost everyone!

  21. Czechthemout!!! on

    And now for the winner of the Jason Strudwick award for useless scrub/ good locker room presence award goes to………. Mike Rupp!!!!!!! Yeah! Baby!!! The arrangers win an award!

  22. Czechthemout!!! on

    Before being eliminated in the second round by a collection of other teams rejects. Great job by Poile.

  23. ThisYearsModel on

    They need to give out the REAL trophies…..not this bogus miniatures. Could they have screwed this up any more? Unfunny and excruciating.

  24. Why isn’t Slats nominated for GM of the year? His club went from almost missing playoffs to winning the East! *RIGGED!*

  25. Happy to hear Landeskog got it….he’s going to be an absolute monster in this League…

  26. JimboWoodside on

    Boy, this is BAD……you know it’s fixed when they even joke about having “Shanny” punish Ovechkin..

  27. JimboWoodside on

    Hahaha!! Shanahan wasn’t impressed!!! Everyone associated with this disaster should be taken out back and shot!

  28. This thing sounds quite embarrassing….and you know they are going to repeat it all summer on NHL Network….Ugh!!

  29. Wow!!! I just turned on the nhl awards show and watched somebody try to be Bredan Shanahan. This award show is amateur hour at it’s best. Needess to say I switched to a different channel.

  30. Paul in sunrise on

    Unwatchable. Embarassed to be a hockey fan. Jay mohr way better than this carcillo.

  31. Czechthemout!!! on

    This awards show blows! Mostly because most Hockey players have the personality of an ameba. The coaches are not much better. At least Torts smiled a little.

  32. Czechthemout!!! on

    And this guy is an actor. Which means he is a professional script/ TelePrompTer reader. Yet he sounds like this his first time.

  33. ThisYearsModel on

    I guess you had to be eliminated before the conference finals to make the cover of the stupid video game.

  34. JimboWoodside on

    They should have got Kate Upton to give out the awards in a bikini – at least that would make the show a little more watchable..

  35. Czechthemout!!! on

    Jimbo

    Here here! But Manny maybe offended by her presence in a bikini since it may violate women’s rights or something.

  36. JimboWoodside on

    >>>Jimbo – best idea of the night!

    Yeah, Papa, but ORR is right – she knows better than to get booked onto this turkey!!

  37. Boston Bonehead on

    This is so painful players getting suspended should be forced to watch the NHL awards like Alex DeLarge in A Clockwork Orange

  38. JimboWoodside on

    >>>Will Arnett’s career is clearly over. Who is next, Jason Alexander?

    Maybe Michael Richards could make an appearance to yell bad things at Morgan, Wallace and Weekes!?

  39. ThisYearsModel on

    I wish Obama would have utilized executive privelege to prevent this awards show.

  40. JimboWoodside on

    Thank you, Papa – even *I* could “out-comedy” these amateur-hour (copyright, Miami Pimp) idiots!!

  41. Czechthemout!!! on

    Gary Bettman is a dope. This league just reported revenue of 3.3 billion dollars. Up over 50% over the year before the strike. And now the owners are going to ask the players for more money because they ………….oh, that’s right, they are not doing well? Good luck on that. Let me know how that works out for you when you have to deal with Donald Fehr.

  42. “Did pacioretty just thank Zdeno Chara?”

    I knew he wasn’t alright after that hit!

  43. What’s the over under on making the cut of the award selection pool? I am getting my arse kicked.

  44. JimboWoodside on

    Oh-oh!! Looks like the Fishsticks got shut out this year!!! No Mutt Award!

  45. ThisYearsModel on

    We need to initiate the Carcillo Award and give it to the idiot that produces this award show.

  46. JimboWoodside on

    The NHL should be so embarrassed at this “performance” – no wonder they’re a fourth-tier sport in the USA..

    Everyone in the league office that had *anything* to do with this show should be fired or sent to the KHL…

  47. It is somewhat worth it watching Sanahan play the fool. If he had any self-respect he’d tell Bettman where to stick it. he can’t be that hard up for cash, could he?

  48. Boston Bonehead on

    Hey Melrose, remember when you benched Stamkos and then got fired 4 games into coaching the Lightning? Awkward….

  49. JimboWoodside on

    No, Manny – except for being the butt of most of the “jokes” on this Godawful presentation…

  50. ThisYearsModel on

    Nickelback blows chunks. Now it is time to see Hank get screwed again times 2.

  51. Hank’s on the prowl in Vegas 2nite with the wife back home with one in the oven.

  52. JimboWoodside on

    I thought Malkin was gonna announce that he and Gonchar were secretly married a few days ago in Vegas…

  53. Braunschweiger on

    He definitely said Gonchar is my only lover, lol
    When he retires he can play the brother on the Russian version of Everybody Loves Raymond

    Congrats King, bout time

  54. JimboWoodside on

    >>>Not that there’s anything wrong with that!

    Of course not, Papa!! Of course not! I thought he was gonna be brave and make the show his “coming out” party, what with all the awards he won tonight..

  55. Paul in sunrise on

    Followed it on twitter so missed the byfuglien bomb. Anyone with a YouTube link?

    Please and thank you.

  56. JimboWoodside on

    Well, at least our beloved Rangers didn’t get totally shut-out of the awards. Unlike our two other geographical poacher-teams did…

  57. JimboWoodside on

    Paul, it was “silenced out” – you couldn’t hear the bomb at all…

  58. not surprised in the least that Tortorella didn’t get an award voted for by the same people he (rightly) calls out for being idiots on a nightly basis

    where did he finish in the voting, though?

  59. Paul in sunrise on

    Thx Noah. That’s classic. Meanwhile NHL should book hank and McEnroe for the musical act next year.

  60. JimboWoodside on

    You’re right, Carp – I didn’t recognize it when he first said it – it was kinda “low” in volume here..

  61. JimboWoodside on

    They tried, but like the rest of the show, they *FAILED* to bleep him…..

  62. ThisYearsModel on

    Could it get worse? Yep, NHL Network has Melrose, Tappen and Weekes and a bunch of dorks filing out of the theater trying to get their mugs on TV.

  63. “Prust takes huge money out west”

    you think he’s planning on robbing a train?

  64. JimboWoodside on

    The only thing Dubi has in his favor is probably that no other team is willing to take on his contract, what with his performance this past season..except maybe for the Fishsticks..

  65. should we look into it that Hank didn’t thank Torts in his speech but thanked Dolan???

  66. just caught up on dvr little guy has 103 fever. what a pathetic show. congrats hank we are nothing without u

    schedule tom cant wait.

    bobby ryan friday what a weekend ahead

  67. John McEnroe on costas show
    said his friend Hank is best celebrity tennis player

    Meat Loaf/Pavarotti worst (fell jumping over the net)

  68. All Time Vezina Trophy winners for the Rangers

    David Kerr (39-40)

    Eddie Giacomin and Gilles Villemure (70-71)

    John Vanbiesbrouck (85-86)

    Henrik Lundqvist 2011-2012

    Not a bad company at all. So happy for Henrik!

  69. have to say that it really bothers me Del Zotto still thinks the Garden is chanting “Henry, Henry.”

    I mean come on dude

  70. Why does Liotta always go for the deep V neck?

    —————-

    Because he’s a good fella! Get it? ;)

  71. Blogmama Go Tony! on

    hartnell….not that’s it’s a great show, but I got home late from work and totally blanked on awards….oh well.

    Nasty, that I don’t know….but I’ve been a Ray fan wayyyyyyy before he became a film star….we’re talking soap opera era baby…..he is brilliant, under appreciated, and I love him :)

  72. Blogmama Go Tony! on

    Geez Erin, one tiny breeze up that dress and that’s more than I need to know.

  73. i know dubi is easy target here, but the rangers were much better against devils with Dubi in lineup. Not sure why you guys want him to leave. I’d rather he stay. Me comprendes? Hay un Manny aqui?

  74. JimboWoodside on

    >>>>You think she has crooked legs now….wait Torts gets done with her!

    Hahahaha!!!

  75. Didn’t they get worse when he came back?? Not that I’m putting it on him. Prust sayin, he wasn’t much of a spark. Basically picked up where he left off.

    Hopefully it’s just one down year, and he rebounds. Personally, I have my doubts. It’s not a good sign that he had such an awful season after signing his four year deal.

  76. JimboWoodside on

    >>>Geez Erin, one tiny breeze up that dress and that’s more than I need to know.

    Not me, Mama – I’m constantly in a search for knowledge! ;-P

  77. JimboWoodside on

    I still have hopes for Dubi – but his name seems linked with just about every speculation for trades with our team…

  78. Blogmama Go Tony! on

    miss this place….I do….hate being so outta touch…..I am so ascared of July 1…..(no, not a typo)

  79. JimboWoodside on

    Why would Prust want to leave here? This stop on the train made him worth a nice, new contract – and he’s gonna get paid. Who did we get him from – Calgary? What was he doing there? Do you think he wants to go back to Ice Station Zebra?

  80. JimboWoodside on

    Mama, why do you fear *my* birthday? *I’m* the one who is one year older on that day!? ;-)

  81. Thankfully the Isles used their 1st round pick on Josh Bailey instead of Erik Karlsson! LOL! Love it!

    LA took Teubert instead of him. Imagine drafting both Doughty & Karlsson in the 1st round? Amazing! Then they drafted Voynov in the 2nd round. He looks pretty good.

  82. Blogmama Go Tony! on

    Happy early 26th Jimbo!!!

    I worry cause I stupidly read a certain beat reporter….deep breath…..I’m OK.

    Lloyd, it’s after the last day of June….I hate the end of June.

  83. I thought he said Mal-Gan. You’d think, with only three names to memorize, he might be able to pull it off.

  84. We should have a boneheads awards…categories for comedy, gibberish, hockey noll-edge. etc.

  85. Blogmama Go Tony! on

    Cant watch…..too awful. Hartnell whoever put this show together! Idjits!!!

    Niters all…..

  86. Blogmama Go Tony! on

    “We should have a boneheads awards…categories for comedy, gibberish, hockey noll-edge. etc.”

    brilliant! and a wicky…..oh well.

  87. The Nickelback “performances” were just plain terrible….these guys actually think their good…

    …just awful and embarrassing as a hockey fan and a music fan…

    and, Chandler….dude, don’t smoke a whole ounce before a presentation…not a good idea…

  88. JimboWoodside on

    >>>Happy early 26th Jimbo!!!

    >>>I worry cause I stupidly read a certain beat reporter….deep breath…..I’m OK.

    Thank you, Mama! Ahhh, 26…..I wish, I wish..

  89. The only fun part of that pathetic horror show, was Hank’s F-bomb. At least it was genuine and made a good laugh.

  90. JimboWoodside on

    That’s true, 4ever….way too much Malkin, for anyone and bad attempts at “comedy”..and lousy music..horrible show!

  91. The looks on some of the faces of the audience were priceless. Like, “what is this crapola?” The whole show was so non-funny. So, second-rate. So, bush league. Pitiful.

    How about the line before the Vezina? Was it really necessary? “we were going to ask Tim Thomas but didn’t have the time to wait 12 months”?

    Huh?

    It’s like these are third line writers or something.

  92. JimboWoodside on

    Yeah, I picked up on that too, Manny – and I think Liotta was making a political statement with his comments about the US president’s job being analagous to a Vezina Trophy candidate…it just didn’t “fit” the venue at all..

  93. JimboWoodside on

    >>>The whole show was so non-funny. So, second-rate. So, bush league. Pitiful.

    Truly, *everyone* in the league office should be profoundly ashamed of that show – it had no redeeming values whatsoever.

  94. Jimbo, I get what the NHL was ‘trying’ to do. THey wanted to seem current, hip, with it.

    Unfortunately, it was not, stale, and poorly executed. It missed the mark and was amateurish. Well, hopefully they learn from this and get better next year.

    And, if you’re Shanny, do you like the publicity? Or are you inflamed by the portrayal? I say the latter if it’s me. In a sense those poor shots at humor were embarrassing to the sport and what he is trying to do. Then again, he’s been pitiful most of the season, too.

  95. JimboWoodside on

    Matty, when the camera panned to Shanny in the audience, you could see on his face that he was *not* impressed with the horrible attempts at “comedy”…

    *I* would be inflamed at the portrayal – but maybe he’s just taking the money and running.

    The show is better off not being aired if it is going to make a laughing-stock of the league and its product. The sport is great, but the people that are the stewards of it have handed its image over to aasen-holes of the worst kind!

  96. Im sure Lundqvist answers to Henrik, Henry, Hank, and Henke. All variations/nicknames of the same name.

  97. Did anyone notice that most of the award-winners didn’t thank their fans? So is Del Zotto gonna be pissed that Hank didn’t thank him after his tweet from that oh-so-amusing Twitter bit they did? Wow, why did they even bother reading Twitter on the air? It’s like the computer reading out print for blind people. I think my favorite part was when Peter Bishop/Charlie Conway/Dawson Creeker/Joshua Jackson actually apologized for the joke he was about to read because he, like everyone watching the show, knew the writing was horrible. Then he distanced himself from the joke even more by saying “I don’t write this stuff.” That was classic. Imagine how awesome it would have been if everyone on the show that had to read a horrible joke off the teleprompter did that? That would’ve been a good show. hehe

  98. iWicky "Rupp Yours!!!" on

    Just got done watching the dvr’d awards show…a few (very few) funny parts

    That Erin Andrews dress….bazinga!!!

    Orr
    Wasn’t she the one with the video that someone took of her changing in a hotel room?

    Back to the awards show…meh!

    Congrats hank! Great f bomb btw!!!

    Happy birthday Jimbo!!!

    Now let’s draft and trade and sign free agents!!

    Night aasens

  99. Wow, after reading these comments, I’m glad I forgot to watch the “show.”

  100. JimboWoodside on

    Free Agent Day is my birthday, Wicky – thank you!! I hope Uncle Glennie gets me (us!) a nice present!!

Leave A Reply

Protected with IP Blacklist CloudIP Blacklist Cloud