Batten down the hatches …


… whatever the hell that means.

Between us, I’m scared carcillo-less about this byfuglien storm headed our way. Maybe it’s because when we had that tornado/mini-hurricane thing in March, 2010, all those trees fell on my house and we were without electricity for a week, and we had a lot of damage … and this is supposed to be a lot worse.

Also, I was without internet access that whole time, or a lot of it. I’m anticipating being, at minimum, without power for a while, and most of youse probably will be, too.


Maybe it’ll blow out to sea.

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  1. Morning heads! I’m with you Carp. I’m nervous about this storm too. Even up here in Albany it’s going to be pretty bad. We’re expecting downed trees and power lines, no electricity and all that due to the storm. Scary stuff.

  2. You obviously come from a broken home, Carp. And I mean that literally. A tree fell on it and cracked the whole structure. You and Mrs. Carp get along beautifully but the house was in bad shape.

  3. Carp, don’t be scared…be Prustie.
    if act of force or violence is inevitable, just relax and try to enjoy it from different angle. In the end of the day, you have us and if politicians can raise money, so will we for our beloved chief. It’s just a pain (in an assen).

  4. I’m excited and nervous at the same time. Sunday might be a good day to dig out the old 1994 tapes and watch the Devils Game 6 and 7 and Game 7 of the finals (assuming we keep power).

  5. onecupin72yearsandcounting on

    I hate the thought of no power which means no, water in my home.
    I have my chainsaw at the ready.. I lost 3 -4 trees with Hurricane Floyd..UGH
    Still most of us are pretty lucky when you look at the other parts of the US ravaged by tornado’s

  6. Gregm_section403 on

    See, you learn something new every day! (and you though this blog was just for hockey and boneheads). It’s actually educational:

    Definition: Batton Down the Hatches

    The securing of property, especially the covering with protective sheeting, is called ‘battening down’. It has a nautical origin and ‘battening down’ of walkways and hatches was done on ships when bad weather was expected. The earliest known reference to this practise is in William Falconer’s An universal dictionary of the marine, 1769:

    The battens serve to confine the edges of the tarpaulings close down to the sides of the hatches.

    A batten is a strip of wood. Ship’s hatches were often open or covered with a wooden grating to allow for ventilation of the lower decks. When bad weather was imminent, the hatches were covered with tarpaulin and the covering was ‘battened down’, that is, edged with wooden strips to prevent it from blowing off.

    The first citation of the explicit use of the phrase ‘batten down the hatches’ is from the 1883 Chambers Journal:

    “Batten down the hatches – quick, men.”

  7. I got a jumprope…that thing is just a rope, man. You have to make the jump thing happen!

  8. “H” must stand for “haha dude. you thought this was hot but it is not. now go spread some germs.”

  9. Remember that movie “The Outsiders?” That guy was nicknamed “Soda Pop.” That was cool then. It’s not now. If you’re nickname was Soda Pop now you would be….dead.

  10. Batteries make things seem substantial. If you take the batteries out of a Radio it sucks. But if you put the batteries back in it’s like, whoah, oh yea. That is the substantial weight I need.

  11. I got a do not disturb sign on my door. It’s time to go with “don’t” disturb. It’s time to embrace the contraction.

  12. I met the girl who works at the hotel front desk. She gave me her number….it’s “0”. I tried to call her from this bar, some other girl answered.

  13. If 13 is an unlucky number than “B” should be an unlucky letter because it’s just a scrunched together 13.

  14. They say the recipe for Sprite is Lemon & Lime but there’s more to it than that. I tried to make some at home, it didn’t work.

  15. Fish are always eating each other. If fish could scream the ocean would be loud. Nothing but fish screaming. “I got caught. I can’t believe it. I thought I looked just like a rock.”

  16. A Kit Kat bar has the name Kit Kat imprinted on the chocolate bar. That robs you of chocolate. That is a clever chocolate saving technique.

  17. If you find yourself lost in the wood: build a house. I was lost, but now I’m home. I have severely improved my predicament.

  18. I got a King Size bed. I don’t know any Kings. I guess if one came over he would be comfortable. “oh, you’re a king? you are gonna like what I have in store for you! I didn’t know you were all the same size. I can set your lady up too!”

  19. I want to get a job naming Kitchen Appliances. You just take whatever the thing does and add “er” at the end of it.

  20. Mr. Pibb is a replica of Dr. Pepper but it’s a BS replica because the dude didn’t even get his degree.

  21. You don’t have to be sweaty and holding a basketball to enjoy Gatorade. You can just be a thirsty dude. Gatorade forgot about this demographic.

  22. I don’t play sports so if I got athlete’s foot my first reaction would be, “that’s not my foot!”

  23. Jlone2Bubblehead on

    I live in VA. We get Hurricanes here, not often, but often enough… A few things i can tell you about preparing. If you wait to prepare, you are to late. You need 1 gallon of water per person per day that you expect to be without. Don’t forget your pets. Canned goods are good especially if you dont have a generator. Bread for sandwiches (PBJ, Tuna, lunchmeat). ICE ICE ICE… The food in your freezer should be ok if you regain power within 4-5 hours as long as you dont open it.. After that, fill your coolers. Get and extra propane tank for your grill. no grill? i recommend getting a small one or even a coleman camping burner will be welcome. Unplug everything that isnt being used and turn off all lights that arent being used. Those solar lawn lights make wonderfull indoor lights and you can recharge them the next day. Winds will come from the North and the East. If you are worried about Trees, dont be on that side of your house. If they tell you to evacuate… EVACUATE! When the Cell towers go down, Texting is your best form of comms. The cell service will be flooded and unreliable. Texting somehow makes it through much faster. Good Luck! be careful! be aware! most importantly, Be Prepared!

  24. McDonald’s ads always end by saying “prices and participation may vary.” I want to open a McDonald’s that doesn’t participate in anything.

  25. So I worked my carcillo off this summer building a stone patio and rock wall and fire-pit to get ready for a party for my father’s 70th birthday and my wife’s suprise graduation party from nursing school. Until yesterday I was prepping, hanging tarps and lights and everything else. I figured I could handle rain and a thunderstorm…but not a hurricane…so today…I had to cancel it…ARGH!!!
    Anyway is it october yet!!!???? I know not to throw parties during hockey season!

  26. Ha. Thanks Ilb. The “Dr. Acula” one was for you!

    That stinks Staal. I am sorry that your dad’s 70th birthday present will be a ridiculously powerful hurricane. At least you guys can spend some quality time together heating up MRE’s in the jacuzzi.

  27. Q: Who’s the coolest guy in a hospital?

    A: The ultra-sound guy…..

    Q: But… Who takes over when he’s on holiday?

    A: The hip-replacement guy.

  28. LOL @ In-N-Out Burger going outta business

    and where are all the Mets fans? are you guys gonna just stand there and let Manny disrespect you like that?! If i was a Mets fan, i’d be fighting an hour ago! :P

  29. Wicky(grating PIBG)© (The she/it on our D is sofa king SOFT!!!) on

    Afternoon ILB and all!!

    If anyone needs to borrow a generator, let us know!!

    great vid, thanks!!

    LMFAO!! (x like 100)


  30. It’s Shake Shack CCCP.

    And thanks for the update Manny, I’ve been waiting for an update on the Mets record ever since Defending the Core went offline.

  31. As a hurricane survivor, I advise you to stock up on batteries, canned food, and water. You’ll be able to survive after that pretty much.

  32. billybleedsblue on

    Carp, best of luck battening down the hatches.

    Everyone, please be safe and use some common sense this weekend.

    Manny, forget the batteries and get some incendiary rounds like in CCCP’s video link there. Those would most likely do the job.

    I was just out to the store, and you know it’s nuts when you can’t even get a grocery cart! Be safe everyone!

  33. Ahhh. Canned food. That explains the ruination of the tuna fish shelves at my local store :)

  34. Learned this from my neighbor yesterday. Power lines in White Plains are all underground….whoo hooo!

  35. ORR!! Be careful. I know you love Ben & Jerry’s but if you lose power you will have to power eat whatever is left to avoid spoilation.

  36. CT

    “It’s Shake Shack CCCP.”

    what do you mean?

    One benefit…i don’t have to go to college on Saturday because of the Irene!!! YAY!!

  37. Could be wrong, but I think he means In and Out Burger is like Shake Shack.

    After NYT did a whole story on Danny Meyer and a lot about the fabness that is Shake Shack, I loved this letter writer, who deplored the whole fanfare. “Shake Shack is McDonald’s, but with liquor.”

  38. Shake Shack is very, very, very delicious. I promise. It is NOTHING like McDonalds. Nothing. More like Five Guys. But better.

  39. My hebrew has gotten horrible. I haven’t needed it in YEARS.

    Although, a long time ago I decided to go to Israel for a few months by myself. I remember being left alone in Tel Aviv and just kind of realizing that my Hebrew was not up to snuff! Good thing almost everyone speaks English (at least all the pretty girls do).

  40. Manny, in Israel, if you speak Russian you’ll get by anywhere…..That includes pretty girls.

  41. A Five Guys recently opened up near me. To be honest, yes it’s cheap, and it’s good, but I don’t get all the fuss. And there’s like, 500 places to get good burgers where I live.

  42. Did I ever tell you guys my cousin’s “snow caps” story when he was in Israel? Hysterical.

    FYI, I bit the bullet and spent money I don’t have to splurge, to splurge on a once in a lifetime experience. I’ll be in Sweden with our Norwegian friends for the season’s open. Holy hartnell!!!

  43. The LAST thing I need where I live is a place to get another burger. Meh

    And ORR, what’s with the cheese not being melted on the FG cheeseburger?

  44. Sorry, Orr, but the first In-N-Out place will open in NJ. In Marty’s basement. Where is LW? He’s been late on those updates lately…

  45. Mama – I said shake shack was BETTER than five guys – just used it as a comparison for how they make their burgers.

    Nothing beats a nice grilled burger :)

  46. Boom Boom Bathgate on

    Don’t press the humor when a friend tells you the roof of his home was blown off, by telling him to look at the bright side and go fly a kite.

  47. Don’t tell somebody you like their dimples because maybe they were shot in the face with a bb gun.

  48. Boom Boom Bathgate on

    Seriously, when the rain arrives I’m going to run around in my back yard with no shirt on – because rain contains hydrogen peroxide which oxygenates the blood stream. Nothing more healthful for you than that. Also, I collect rain water, to drink later, in a glass container. No wonder I lived to 105!

  49. Manny, that is correct! Backyard grill….enough said.

    As for the candy story….:) On this cousin’s first trip to Israel, he went to a movie and, at the candy/popcorn counter asked for snow caps. You know, the little chocolate candies, or nonpareils, covered in whatever that white stuff is. Happens to be my favorite, too.

    Anyhoo, the guy at the counter was like, “snow caps?” My cousin says yes, snow caps…

    Turns out snow caps, at least then, was a code word for cocaine and my poor cousin got into a whole mess with the police …. had to explain that all he wanted was a chocolate treat, not drugs. We all laugh about the snow caps story to this day. Needless to say, he missed the movie.

  50. BOom BOom – are you referring to Fluoridation?

    Make me a drink! Grain Alcohol and rain water.

  51. Boom Boom Bathgate on

    MANNY – Speaking of Dr. Acula, did you hear what Count Dracula said to the Countess Dracula, while they were gazing at the moonlight one romantic summer evening on the veranda?

    He said: “Thanks to you, my darling, my life has not been in VEIN!


    Interestingly enough there is a whole problem now in Israel because they legalized marijuana (which I think is good). The bad part is that the police are using sting agents to coerce stores into selling more than the allowable dosage and then arresting them. The story I heard on NPR’s This American Life was really moving. People are posing as cancer victims and crying and suffering and begging for a little bit extra. Then when they get it because of someone’s compassion they arrest them.

    Nice joke Boom Boom! I love Dr. Acula!

  53. JimboWoodside on

    “I am going to have to stock up on 9Volts and D Batteries to hurl at the looters!”

    That’s what they make shotguns for, Manny! ;-)

  54. Yeah, Manny, when I saw my cousin earlier this month, and there was talk about visits to Israel….we still laughed about the snow caps story…and this was a looooong time ago. But a classic is a classic….

    That NPR story is sad. And yet another reason why I love NPR…

  55. Which reminds me, ilb, you be safe! And careful what you order if you go to the movies :)

  56. Thanks, mama…..One thing you can be sure- we are not going to the movies in Israel. I can do it in NY using my Apple TV…

  57. hey heads!!, all u head in ny be safe ok!! we dont need any bonehead casualties. be back more in sept. im on vacation!! take it easy everyone.

  58. Manny

    Are you the guy in New YOrk that told me he saw a pan handler fish out some bills in his pocket and go into the package store and come out with a bottle of wine in his coat pocket. He slipped on the ice, fell and the bottle broke spilling wine all over the side walk. the guy looks up at him and says :Ohh man I hope that;s blood.”

  59. also- hi sallywaffles!!! hi greg,orr,ilbzo,linda,babs,carp,wick,cccp,eddie,tyony,latona,jpg,fran,jbytes,lw3h,doodie,olga,mmanolo(manny), boom boom, woodside,jimbo,izzy,nasty,salty,noah,nyrfan,ria,billyblleds, ctblueshirt, joekuh, tr,4everranger,julie,larue,onecup,greg,section 403, wicky,cwgatti,tiki,bulldogline,staalwart,stevek,marj, spiderpig,mako(mia),somerset,gift o gab, and all the rest i cant spend all day i’ll be here forvere.,

  60. im going to south carolina. visit my father and his ne gf. be back soon. def before or right when training camp starts. love u all!

  61. Wicky (Leeloo Dallas mul-ti-pass) on

    Awesome for you! I expect you to bring me back something nice after all the newspapers! B

    It’s just rain = priceless

  62. and…a wicky….Wick, I will bring whatever I can in my bag :) hopefully they’ll let it though since I’m a bag lady…:)

  63. Wicky (Leeloo Dallas mul-ti-pass) on

    Be safe bro!

    Way to get mama all amped up with that link!!


  64. I want to find that guy, save the kitties, and claw him….For hartnell’s sake!!!

    Oh fug, I’ve bag manned again….

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