NHL Awards show in review

146

OMG!

Does somebody spend months trying to make the show worse? I mean, do they write this thing, and then change it over and over to make sure it stinks?

1) OK, so they go to Vegas for the money grab, forgetting for some reason that the NHL, you know, has teams in cities like New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, Toronto, Montreal. So they put it in Vegas to squeeze out the last nickel. Wouldn’t you think they might be able to find some A-list entertainment? Or even B-list?

2) Mispronunciation. Jay Mohr made a big deal of being killed on Twitter for mispronouncing Yzerman (how?). But he and the presenter also said Lindstrom instead of Lidstrom during the Norris presentation, and those two horrible plastic-surgery poster women — no idea who they were — butchered Martin St. Louis’ name in the Lady Byng presentation. Jeez. Plus, right in the theater, a big lighted graphic said that the Jennings Trophy goes to the goaltenders on the team that allows the “least goals.” Or, in English, the fewest. And how dumb were those Tweets scrolling across the screen? You just know the NHL filtered out anything negative.

3) Those two women who presented the Lady Byng, do they work in Vegas? You know what I mean?

4) Donnie Osmond?

5) Mohr was OK. The pre-show thing he did, mocking “24/7″ was pretty good. The two jokes I liked: When he said that you have to win 16 games to win the Stanley Cup … then told Edmonton to relax; he meant 16 playoff games. And when he mocked the Winnipeg folks in the crowd who must be enjoying the running water. And it was cool that he went after the idiot Vancouver “fans.”

6) Surprised we didn’t get a little more Skid Crosby shoved down our throats.

7) Always good to see the Captain. He looked like Mats Zuccarello standing next to Chara though. Once upon a time, Mess was one of the biggest dudes in the league.

8) How about that shameful commercial for the NHL’s video game built in as a segment of the show?

9) Except for the late Derek Boogaard’s goal being among the season highlights, was there any other indication that the Rangers actually, you know, played this season?

10) One of the real nice moments was when the Army presented good guy Doug Weight with his award. But, of course, the camera cut to a crowd shot just as the Army officer was presenting Weight with the award.

11) That’s enough. It was horrible and embarrassing overall. Just awful.

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AP photo/Julie Jacobson, above:  Ian Laperriere holds the Bill Masterton Memorial Trophy,  for perseverance, sportsmanship and dedication to hockey.

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146 Comments

  1. Well, it sure sounds like I didn’t miss much by not watching it.

    Good morning, boneheads!

    I hope Carp doesn’t carp me soon, I hate reposting. 
    Anyway, we have a little vacation house upstate, it’s on the lake and also very close to Hudson River. It’s not far from exit 21 on NY Thruway, hour and a half drive from Manhattan, two in traffic. My wife and I want to offer it for the boneheads summer gathering. We can do fishing, boating, kayaking, drinking, eating, talk Rangers and whatever crazy stuff we want.
    So, it should be one of the Saturdays this summer. 
    The options are 7/9, 7/16, 7/23, 7/30, 8/6. Once I have all the responses and preferences, I’ll be able to choose one- majority wins.

    I will  provide the alcohol ( you can certainly trust Russian with that one) and other drinks. If you want to bring your favorite dish, you’re welcome. But you don’t have to. Plenty of places to order from, my wife and I will take care of that. Only one requirement: you and your significant other HAVE to wear something Rangers. Hats, socks, boneheads T, doesn’t matter. If you don’t drive, you can take a train and I’ll pick you up at the train station in Hudson. 

    So, if you’re interested, please email me at ilb2001@nyp.org. Tell me who you are and what your preference(s). And whatever other questions you may have.

    Did I miss anything, Laurel?

  2. Carped.

    The Rangers do have the talent to compete for the Cup. They are maybe a player away.

    How much of a difference is there between Ryan Kesler and Ryan Callahan? How much better would/could Caly’s numbers be if 1. Anisimov takes the next step and becomes closer to an elite center and 2. He actually plays the whole season?

    Not even remotely a stretch to consider that Henk will win a Vezina one of these years. Should have been a finalist this year, honestly only Thomas was better.

    Not at all hard to see Gabby amongst the league leaders in scoring again, not a bit, if he stays healthy and Torts lets him run. And if, as opposed to a sophomore slump, Stepan takes the next step and becomes a 30-goal 60+ point guy centering Gabby.

    The defense corps, if McDonagh and Sauer progress next year, and not even a ton, but simply progress, and if Staal stays healthy and Erixon pans out, could easily be amongst the league’s best.

    Not this year, but the following year, Kreider has the size, speed and skills to be a Calder candidate.

    If Boyle and Prust continue to improve, again pot 25 or so goals between them and play like gorillas on D and on the PK?

    Lots of ifs, I know. But there isn’t nearly as vast a chasm as some would have you believe between where the Rangers are and how easily they could be where they need to be. And when teams do go far, it’s because all of the “ifs” fall into place. This could easily be a year in which they do.

  3. Today is a big day in hockey,The draft I love it. Look for a LOT of trades, and with the cap going up to 62-64 million this year free agents will be on the move this year. So boneheads look for lots to happen between now and July 1st.

  4. onecupin72yearsandcounting on

    Embarrassing ? Yes .. But that’s the genius of Bettman… keeping the NHL stagnant in popularity .At least be innovative, or controversial have a nip slip. Not even You tube worthy.
    The closest was the Pawn Star segment but that bombed at the end too.

    Ilb2001 , very gracious of you. Thank you.

  5. CapeBretonRangerFan on

    The awards show gets more and more pathetic every year. I thought it couldn’t get any worse than the CBC productions, but this Vegas production was embarrassing to the game. The worst part (among many) had to be the handful people they paid to stand in front of the stage.

  6. Good Morning!
    ilb, that is very nice of you share your place for a Boneheads picnic! Thank you very much!

  7. i owe my wife 2 hours back of her time after sitting down an watching that nonsense last night. i wish i could get those 2 hours back. giving my son his bottle and him spitting up on me might have been better. what an absolute snooze that was.

    mohr is a moron and buttman still got booed

  8. schedule at 2pm

    i say we have an 8 game trip between oct 7th opening day against kings till home opener oct 27th vs toronto.

    def stops

    vanocuver
    calgary
    winnipeg
    edmonton

    then 2 prob back east before home game

  9. somebody said that we already got a high draft pick when we dealt our two 2nds for erixon. the talent level drops off steeply after the top 8 or 10 picks i read, so sather might get another future duby or cally type. maybe get lucky and we’ll get another d man!!

  10. And This One Will Last A Lifetime on

    thanks for the update…guess I am glad that I spent 6 hours at Citifield..got home way past my bedtime, and after 4.5 hours of not great sleep, get to work early today…but was spared a bad night of NHL foolery…

  11. Johnny LaRue on

    ilb, sounds like a nice place upstate; a sanctuary perhaps. Good fresh air to recuperate from impetigo.

  12. Peter – I think you’re dead on in your assessment, though a bit optimistic. But if you think about all the players with a huge upside, it’s tough to see how this team will go anywhere but up. My honest thought is that the only real deal the Rangers are interested in doing this season is to ink Richards. We’ll see tomorrow, but I have a feeling the only moves will be ones geared around creating cap space. Even there, with the increase, they don’t need to do much.

    As for the draft, I’ve read several times over that this is one of the weakest classes they’ve seen in a long time, and that’s fine, sense the Rangers only have four picks. I’m for keeping the 15th and drafting McNeill.

  13. So I was listening to Rage Against The Machine again today. Those of you between 27-35 will understand. Their self-titled album and I realized something. They HATE Europansies!

  14. billybleedsblue on

    Ha. I like Jay Mohr, but I’m glad I didn’t bother watching any of the “show” last night. I believe it was Yzerman pronounced “Why-Zerman” haha nice one. WTG NHL.

    Ascending the Floor: A Tequila Blog

  15. I’m not surprised that the show was bad. However, I was stunned to see that Far East Movement bunch absolutely crush Ace Frehley’s previously nailed-on chances of winning the Most Painfully Wretched Musical Performance at an NHL Event Award.

  16. ilb is the man!! That’s incredibly nice of you and your wife!!

    Carp, excellent review. Pleasantly surpirsed to find it here this morning! Glad that I didn’t have to watch it and still got the Blogfather synopsis :P

    LOL! nice, Billy.

    Derka derrr!!

  17. Peter I think you’re too optimistic on a number of issues. First, I don’t think that the team is one player away. Yes, they need a legitimate first line center and there’s really only one available. I don’t equate signing Richards with winning the Cup.

    As much as I like Anisimov I don’t see him making a big jump to elite level. He first has to get to the above average level.

    I think we’ve seen the best of Prust. He is what he is and he is good at what he does, but to expect him to get better…why I just don’t see it. Boyle, I don’t know about. Last season could have been a fluke or it could have been the start of something. I guess we’ll find out soon enough.

    However, there’s nothing wrong about being optimistic. In fact, that’s what the ticket sellers are counting on.

  18. Player A
    Age 21: 82 GP, 12 G, 16 A, 12:54 ATOI
    Age 22: 82 GP, 16 G, 26 A, 16:12 ATOI

    Player B
    Age 21: 82 GP, 16 G, 20 A, 12:48 ATOI
    Age 22: 78 GP, 8 G, 31 A, 13:58 ATOI
    Player B did not reach 16+ mins until age 25

    Player C
    Age 21: 82 GP, 10 G, 13 A, 14:03 ATOI
    Age 22: 48 GP, 6 G, 16 A, 16:26 ATOI

  19. There’s a lot of people who think Hockey is old and “out of style” sport (See Tiger Woods). You could not argue when watching the award shows. Lame and embarrassing. Chris Angel? Donny Osmond? Jon Hamm was there which when you look at everything else was a surprise and he must have felt embarassed to be there.

  20. Crosscheck – I think a lot of Ranger fans don’t realize how far Anisimov has come in three short years. He’s one Ranger that has consistently gotten better every year he’s played. I still vividly remember his first NA camp, and he was down right brutal. I remember thinking to myself ‘this is the kid everyone is so high on?!’ But he went from having a marginal season his first year in the AHL to basically dominating it the next season. Then he went from barely holding down fourth line center, to finally showing that he belonged in the league when he teamed with Prust and Shelley. And then this year, he steps onto the ice the uncontested second-line center. I don’t see him as a Datsayuk-type player, but rather someone who will net 20 goals and 40-plus helpers consistently in his career. As for Prust, he is what he is, which is a hard-working forward that will play his heart out to land 30 points in a year. But the beating he unleashes on the opposition will make him every bit as valuable as the top players.

    Something that Peter didn’t factor in is the chance one of these young kids makes the team out of camp. I’d say there’s an outside chance we’ll see either Thomas or Bourque in NY next year.

  21. ok…..

    Player A is Artie Partie
    Player B is Chris Drury
    Player C is Landon Donovan

    What is the point? Tell me what the comparison is about!

  22. The problem is that Landon Donovan is a soccer player….do you want him on the Rangers? I don’t know if his skill set would translate very well.

    Plus! Kicking the puck in is not legal. Nor is keeping a rodent within the city limits.

  23. Latona,

    It’s actually the Rangers Report. And it’s probably not hard to decipher that I’m trying to compare Anismov to two other players.

  24. This is called Rangers Report? Since when? This must be a Communist trick or something.

    And maybe you should try to compare players that play the same sport. Landon Donovan and Artem Anisimov aren’t really the two best people to match up.

  25. I wanna take you out to dinner, and then I wanna go back to my apartment and watch ‘Kung Fu’. Do you ever watch ‘Kung Fu’?

  26. And Chris Drury is a has been at this point. I don’t know what looking at his first few years is going to do. It’s over.

  27. What Toronto Maple Leaf player scored the overtime goal against the Montreal Canadians in game 5 of the 1951 Stanley Cup Finals to win the leafs the Cup?

  28. ANSWER: *Bill Barilko* scored the overtime goal to win the leafs the cup in 1951. That summer while on a fishing trip Barilko’s single engine plane disappeared and its passengers remained missing until 1962 when a helicopter pilot discovered the wreakage in northern Ontario. Ironically that year was the next time that the Leafs won the Stanley Cup since Barilko’s disappearance. Gord Downie tells this story in the Tragically Hips song ‘Fifty Mission Cap’

  29. Question: Wayne Gretzky has played in 6 Stanley Cup finals. Although famous for his many goal-scoring records, he was unable to put the puck in the net during one final playoff series. Which series was it?

  30. Personal favorite moment:

    Camera goes to Kesler while Chara and Thomas are on stage with the cup. Probably one of the only “real” moments of the night.

  31. So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.

  32. My turn for a hockey question..

    Who was the first Soviet ice hockey player to defect to the West?

  33. The Copa Santander Libertadores match between Santos and Peñarol was pretty exciting. That Neymar kid is fun to watch, isn’t he? Oh wait… Wrong blog!

    Carry on!

  34. Manny,

    Just remember that today is the first day of the rest of your life. And that Haagen-Dazs isn’t actually Swedish, or any language for that matter.

  35. Landon Donovan aka Ryan Kesler

    CT

    i am always correct :)

    Darn good comparison… Sedin and Kesler. Keeping my fingers crossed!

  36. I guess CT is giving us a clue about the remaining player.

    So is it… Cedar? Maple? Oak? Sequoia? Birch?

  37. CCCP- it’s Landon Donovan. I am the authority. Latona is the authority. We agree. COMPLETE AUTHORITY!

  38. And I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m, I’m quitting, I’m going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if they take my stapler then I’ll set the building on fire…

  39. Do you guys think Nabokov would be a better hockey player if he focused more on his goaltending and less on writing novels?

  40. Me too. It still took me like 20 minutes to figure that out when it appeared in the book I am reading.

  41. Something about a bird being better than something.

    Is it “Is a bird in the hand better than two in the bush?”

    You would, Manny, you would.

  42. haha Basically

    It literally means, “A bird in the right hand is better than 4 outside.”

    VERY impressive Latona!

  43. I was thinking quattour was four, but it didn’t make sense with what the rest of my head was thinking.

    Hic, haec, hoc..

  44. Best Latin Scene ever!

    Centurion: What’s this, then? “Romanes eunt domus”? People called Romanes, they go, the house?
    Brian: It says, “Romans go home. ”
    Centurion: No it doesn’t ! What’s the latin for “Roman”? Come on, come on !
    Brian: Er, “Romanus” !
    Centurion: Vocative plural of “Romanus” is?
    Brian: Er, er, “Romani” !
    Centurion: [Writes “Romani” over Brian’s graffiti] “Eunt”? What is “eunt”? Conjugate the verb, “to go” !
    Brian: Er, “Ire”. Er, “eo”, “is”, “it”, “imus”, “itis”, “eunt”.
    Centurion: So, “eunt” is…?
    Brian: Third person plural present indicative, “they go”.
    Centurion: But, “Romans, go home” is an order. So you must use…?
    [He twists Brian’s ear]
    Brian: Aaagh ! The imperative !
    Centurion: Which is…?
    Brian: Aaaagh ! Er, er, “i” !
    Centurion: How many Romans?
    Brian: Aaaaagh ! Plural, plural, er, “ite” !
    Centurion: [Writes “ite”] “Domus”? Nominative? “Go home” is motion towards, isn’t it?
    Brian: Dative !
    [the Centurion holds a sword to his throat]
    Brian: Aaagh ! Not the dative, not the dative ! Er, er, accusative, “Domum” !
    Centurion: But “Domus” takes the locative, which is…?
    Brian: Er, “Domum” !
    Centurion: [Writes “Domum”] Understand? Now, write it out a hundred times.
    Brian: Yes sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir.
    Centurion: Hail Caesar ! And if it’s not done by sunrise, I’ll cut your balls off.
    Share this quote

  45. I learned Latin in medschool for two years. This is my take:

    Polnostyu ebnulys’…

  46. “I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, ‘Wait til it gets warmer.’”

  47. This 37 year old listens to rage against the machine’s self titled 1992 album all the time.

  48. There’s a simple explanation why Jaromir Jagr, who seems on the cusp of returning to the NHL after a three-year sabbatical in Russia, did not reach out to GM Glen Sather to find out whether the Rangers would be interested in a Broadway encore.

    “I don’t want to put this the wrong way, but teams that want me and think I can help them have been calling me, and the Rangers never called, so I don’t think they would want me,” Jagr told The Post by phone last night from his home in the Czech Republic.

    “I don’t want to be a guy who says, ‘Do you need me; do you want me?’ It’s not like I’m looking for a job,” said No. 68. “Teams know I’m serious about coming back. If Glen thought I could help, he would have told me. But I have no hard feelings. I loved my time in New York. I will never have a bad thing to say about the Rangers.”

    Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/sports/rangers/not_on_speed_dial_n8VaL9qvpZ816X0MpM16qO#ixzz1Q79tVfT5

  49. Good almost afternoon all! What the heck is going on here today? :)

    ilb, any day but the 16th, cause I can’t make it then. So that will have to be that…

  50. CT – what happened to Player B and C? I am still on the edge of my seat for the Punchline!

  51. Doodie Machetto on

    It was a Sedin and Kesler. CCCP busted the story wide open.

    Mendacem opportet esse memorem.

  52. Hey Doodie…I liked when you said he “busted the story wide open.” That was hilarious.

    So what’s the end point of the comparison?

  53. Whyzerman did you hate the awards so much, Carp?

    I know a good award Jay More could be named after, an award for the best agitator, because he annoyed the shyte out of me last night. Such an unfunny guy. Who the fugg is he??

    The guests sucked. The music sucked. The jokes sucked. The bits sucked. Jon Hamm should have just presented each award, and hosted the thing.

  54. >>JBytes? Is that some South American revolutionary talk?

    It’s South American fùtbol talk.

  55. Manny,

    Isn’t that the name of some Indian cuisine show on the Food Network?

    I can’t have my Russian defect to the subcontinent!

  56. #4 Jay More
    #13 Mats Sundin
    #22 Claude Lemieux

    I’ll take “NHLers whose name and number rhymed” for $100, please Alex.

  57. So far I have two positive responses. 4everanger and Mama. So the party is officially on. C’mon, ‘heads! Btw, Carp, even though you’re not a Rangers fan, you’re obviously invited.

  58. Ria (the silent bonehead) on

    ilb that is a tremendously tremendous gesture by you and your wife. I think the 23rd would be the best choice so everyone could help me celebrate my “26th” birthday! LOL

  59. Ria (the silent bonehead) on

    Actually we could celebrate all the bonehead July birthdays . I know we have several other boneheads born in July besides myself

  60. Thanks Carp! Nice smart allic response. New proof why you are our fearless leader.

  61. ilb, any day but August 6 is good for me. Ria, I like your idea about July birthdays! Mine is next Sunday, another July birthday!

  62. wicky(grating PIBG)© (Non visor wearing male, 26, holder of 5 LLPs!!) on

    Morning ILB and all!!

    moving still…

    Quick question, anyone have the link for the boogaard memorial t shirts? I thought I did and can’t find it now. I would like to order one before they stop taking orders tomorrow! TYIA!!

  63. Doodie Machetto on

    Detroit and Columbus can’t come East unless someone else goes West. I’m thinking Toronto.

  64. Doodie – you buy the shirt and wear it and people see it and think “that’s nice” and remember Derek. I think that’s the idea?

  65. doodie

    trying to be optimistic for once. dont get me back to my usual self. lol. i just want a 500 record after the big road trip to start. a bad trip could end our season early.

    can you inagine what this blog would be like if the rangers start 2-7 after 9 away

  66. Doodie Machetto on

    eric, optimism is good, but let’s wait and see what the roster looks like first, no? Maybe you would even improve on your prediction!

  67. Mine 26 is kind of “round” number and falls exactly on July,30, but this amazingly generous ilb’s offer is still young, so, I don’t know reaction of my instant family, who, I suspect, could , as usual, try to capitalize on it in this particular date. But I love the idea of collective July’s Rangers extended party on Rangerland piece of ilb. property under Rangers banner (could be Messier jersey tied to pole by sleeves).

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