Guest blogger LW3H: Belated Game 5 in review


As someone who predicted a Vancouver series win in five games, I’m looking rather good as the Canucks sit on the verge of clinching the Stanley Cup on home ice after comfortably earning a split in Boston, meaning I get the prestigious hono(u)r of doing the final Rangers Report “Game in Review” post of the season.  Oh wait…

Anyway, this will be less “Game in Review”, more “Stream of Brief and Loosely Chronological Thoughts from During the Game”.

  • How do I get through games that finish around 4am where I am?  A playoff load of energy drinks (pictured) come through with the phantom secondary assist.  Of course, they are the diet type, otherwise I’d be consuming an enormous mass of sugar.  Or “breakfast” as it’s called in the Brodeur household.
  • Mercifully, I get the CBC coverage of the series.  OK, a bit of pro-Canuck cheerleading can be expected, but this means no Milbury, no waffleboards, no Hockey for Dummies presentation.  And worth stressing again, such is its importance: no Milbury.
  • Glenn Healy says Vancouver’s Game 7 against Chicago was “nucular”.  Roenick must’ve left his dictionary lying around.
  • A pretty hard-hitting start, as even some of the many, many Europansies in the two lineups brush up against each other (Lucic? Oreskovich? Go home to Swedonia to kick your state-owned soccer ball around.)
  • A couple of early bad penalties by the Canucks, but the Boston powerplay looks like it did coming into the series
  • David Krejci has impressed me a lot during this series and what I saw of the Conference Final.  He doesn’t do any single thing that blows you away, but if Derek Stepan grows into that kind of player, I’d be happy.
  • Play-by-play man, Jim Hughson, notes that the Chris Higgins line hasn’t scored in the series but has had several good chances.  No further comment needed.
  • In an extremely strong field, Maxim Lapierre’s three-broken-rib reaction to Zdeno Chara’s mild tickling now leads the way for worst acting job of the series.
  • Has there ever been a single intermission interview with a player (other than Gomer the Seven Goal Clown) that hasn’t featured an exchange along the lines of:
    – “What have you got to do this period?”
    – “We gotta get pucks to the net, more bodies in front…”
  • Adam McQuaid takes what is the baddest of all bad penalties by tripping Higgins to prevent him getting a breakaway chance.  Thus opting for about a 1-in-5 chance of conceding a goal over a 1-in-1 chance of the puck being fired somewhere in the region of the Tim Hortons sign.  In Calgary.
  • I’m guessing Tanner Glass (Hands o’Stone) got a bit too spooked by the thought of scoring the biggest goal of his career in a tied Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Final to, you know, make contact with the puck when almost the entire net is there to hit under no pressure.
  • Tough to have any sympathy for Alex Burrows not getting any calls when he hits the ice faster than any player since that time Ken Daneyko told Marty Brodeur that the faceoff dots were painted on with ketchup.
  • Tim Thomas = Monster.  If he’s just a lucky goaltender, as I keep reading from some, then he’s doing a great job of being lucky for year-long stretches.
  • CBC does a brief piece on the Captain Clutch buyout in front of hundreds of joyous, screaming Canucks fans in a Vancouver street.  Stop that!  That’s our job!
  • Of all the hundreds of little Crosby interview pieces that infest the commercial breaks here, my favo(u)rite is the one where he reveals with his usual stunning and animated insight that the main differences between junior hockey and the NHL are that the players are older and the players are better in the NHL.
  • Always good to see a solid, honest pro like Maxim Lapierre get rewarded for his efforts with such a big goal.  After Burrows was the hero in Game 2 as well, I’m expecting Vancouver to seek special dispensation from the league to sign Steve Ott, Sean Avery and Jarkko Ruutu before the next game.
  • A similar game to Game 1 all round – despite coming in with all the momentum (ahem), the Bruins had little in the way of sustained pressure and the Canucks not all that much more, but they always seemed in more control and a far more disciplined team in every sense than the previous two games.  The Canucks could feasibly now win a six-game series by scoring seven goals in total.  The two games in Boston so far were so much different from how the games in Vancouver have played out, that it’s tough to know what to expect though.
  • Judging by the pictures of the 100,000 crowd in the streets in downtown Vancouver, I’m still not sure whether the Canucks winning or losing the series will lead to the city being smashed up more.  I’m going to be there in a couple of weeks, so it’d be nice if some of it were intact…

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  1. First?

    Well done, LW! Great post! LMAO!!

    “Lucic? Oreskovich? Go home to Swedonia to kick your state-owned soccer ball around.”


  2. Great, funny review, LW. Was expecting a good one and you didn’t disappoint.

    LMAO @ “extremely strong field”!

    Bet you Carp didn’t have to edit much, except maybe that strange looking “hono(u)r” and favo(u)rite” :-)

  3. One of the most entertaining for sure…Good for you, LW! Now, go back playing chess in your British Swedovakia.LOL.

  4. I’ve been learning English since I was a baby.

    And the belatedness wasn’t my fault. Technical difficulties at the New York end…

  5. Eddie Eddie Eddie on

    LW – brillliant review….infomative and hilarious…. Great work, mate

  6. I’ve read entire review with British accent…weird ;)

    Great stuff, mate!

    I get a feeling Brodeur has a special place in your heart… can’t blame you for that, though! He’s just so adorable!

  7. wtf? as soon as Europansy wrote a review no good old American / Canadian boys got anything to say? i see… (;

  8. btw, anyone, who do u guys all want in thj draft? i want puempel. he is a natural scorer they say and he might slip to 15th. of course maybe we should trade up in the draft. we mustget a forward though. soo mny defenseman!!! signed and drafted lately

  9. of course theres a europansy named namestnikov. seems like an avg size guy that could be a top 6 playmakinger centre. could replace anisimov if we happen to trade him if richards is signed

  10. LW, I take offense to you blaming it on New York. I’ll have to use that excuse next time I miss deadline. :)

    Great job. Thank you.

  11. Carp: “Sorry for the delay, but technical difficulties in GB.”
    That ought to work!!

    Grabby, I was in touch with TR recently…he is insane, insane with work, but still clued in :)

  12. wicky(grating PIBG)© (Non visor wearing male, 107, holder of 4 LLPs!!) on

    Thanks for the carping!!

    did you see my post about the pseudo newspaper from mama due to your phrase??

    excellent write up!

  13. If I’d known I actually had 36 hours to write the thing up, I’d have gone to bed sooner and offered to do another game…

    Anyway, thanks Carp and more importantly, CCCP.

  14. Nothing is something worth doing – could be today’s motto…
    CCCP = *C*(ompletely)*C*(alm)*C*(ucamber)*P*(reaching)… human and hockey sense on RR.

  15. 4everanger

    HA! Thanks…i guess ;)

    You liked the clip i posted? Those guys are amazing… very psychedelic 8-}

  16. A Rabbi who circumcised one of the sons of my close friend, now wants to be my friend on facebook! fuggin’ weird and hilarious! should i accept his “friend request”? LOL

  17. CCCP- no. He charges for circumcision. I’d imagine he’ll charge an arm and a leg for being your friend on FB.

    LW- “if I had known…..I would have gone”…WTB do you think this is, Stratford-upon-Avon?

  18. JimboWoodside on

    “Belated”!? I’m usually just getting out of bed at 2 pm or thereabouts!

    Great post, LW – you Brits are funny, despite your difficulty with the English language!!! ;-D

  19. JimboWoodside on

    Watch out, 3CP – he may be looking for more practice – do you have any newborn baby boys hanging around needing a bris?

  20. leetchhalloffame on

    “I’m taking my talents to South Beach.” Who’s rejoicing more than Cleveland tonight? Wish Sather would take his “talents” to South Beach.

  21. I missed the game!! Damn! Kick Buttowski err, Dirk Nowitzki is a Europansy MVP! Good for Dallas

    The Decision? Please explain

  22. And Cleveland rejoices! My bro-in-law (a native Clevelander) was probably laughing his assen off. Congrats to the Europansy Dirk for a well deserved championship.

    uhh, hi gang! :D

  23. “Wish Sather would take his “talents” to South Beach.”


    Why would Sather leave Palm Springs, CA?

  24. LW – great post. Frankly the Boston radio announcers do a better job than Doc “the Devil” Emeric & Eddie O.

    One nit to pick though concerning that europansy Milan Lucic, he’s a Canadian.

    According to
    Milan Lucic
    Left Wing
    Born Jun 7 1988 — Vancouver, BC
    Height 6.04 — Weight 220 — Shoots L

  25. Rich

    Where have you seen a Canadian with a last name like Lucic?

    Lucic is a Serbian born in Canada…he’s got Europansy blood running through his veins.

    It is all aboot the blood.

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