Here’s what I propose. The NHL thinks non-hockey fans are too stupid to appreciate ties, and too stupid to be fooled by NHL-.500, and too stupid to not see skills competitions for what they are. And everybody’s arguing over the idiotic three-point games and such.

I propose just get rid of the points system, then, and go with the system all other sports use. Wins and Losses. You don’t want ties? You want games decided via a gimmicky contest that has nothing to do with hockey? Fine. But count a win as a win and a loss as a loss and let’s get on with it.

Oh, right, the NHL wants its fans to think their teams are better than they are. So they shovel some of their losses over into a new column in the standings, and presto, everybody’s got a good record. It’s a joke.

Therefore, I present to you the actual NHL final standings, with Wins counting as Wins and Losses counting as Losses:

Eastern Conference
………………..W-L  GB
Pittsburgh        49-33  …
Washington     48-34   1
Philadelphia    47-35   2
Boston               46-36  3
Tampa Bay       46-36  3
Montreal           44-38  5
Rangers             44-38  5
Buffalo               43-39  6
Carolina             40-42  9
New Jersey        38-44  11
Toronto              37-45  12
Atlanta               34-48  15
Ottawa                32-50  17
Islanders            30-52   19
Florida                30-52  19

Western Conference
…………………..W-L  GB

Vancouver          54-28  …
San Jose             48-34  6
Detroit                47-35  7
Anaheim             47-35  7
Los Angeles        46-36  8
Nashville            44-38  10
Chicago               44-38  10
Phoenix               43-39 11
Dallas                  42-40 12
Calgary                41-41  13
Minnesota          39-43  15
St. Louis              38-44 16
Columbus           34-48  20
Colorado             30-52  24
Edmonton           25-57  29