Happy Festivus!

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“Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reach for the last one they had – but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way!
(The doll) was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. “A Festivus for the rest of us!”

–Frank Costanza

In honor of Festivus, today we are serving Atomic Subs, day-old bagels and soup with rubber bands in it.

We already pretty much aired our grievances last week, after the Rangers lost those ugly games to Atlanta and the Islanders. So it’s time for the feats of strength. Get the pole! Until you pin me, Festivus is not over.

Nothing says Festivus, by the way, more than a hockey game. So tonight your boys play Florida to start a stretch of six of seven at home.

We’ll chime in during the day, and tonight, with more Festivus stuff, and more on your Rangers.

“Kruger, you couldn’t smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe … I lost my train of thought.”

–Frank Costanza

See youse all later.

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121 Comments

  1. It’s a Festivus Miracle. Happy Festivus to you, too Adam. Thanks for calling me “incomparable” in your blog the other day.

    Good night, Sally!

  2. Happy Festivus Rick! And to all as well! Hopefully in a few years we’ll have a Cup to place next to our Festivus Pole.

  3. now it is time for me to air my grievances, I wish more people could be as cool a human as Rick Carpiniello,

    thx rick for all your help. Merry Xmas

    Rangers Five Goal Night leads to Three Straight Wins Video

    http://www.rangercrisis.com

  4. ZzZz NYR ZzZz " I want a good team for x-mas!!! … says Greg L. on

    Yo Mouth , Im Cool!!!!

    Happy Festive season Carp , all you boneheads too , Without you guys ..I’d be talking to myself.

  5. ZzZz NYR ZzZz " I want a good team for x-mas!!! … says Greg L. on

    Mouth ,ya can’t blame Roloson on the Gaborik goal ,saying he should of had it. The Rangers were on the Powerplay and as Gaborik was on the point..he had his shot aimed and ready to blast. Gaborik is the NHL leading goal scorer , when he scores , he means it. Roloson was not to blame.

  6. wicky229 (it's not about skill, it's about will) on

    happy festivus to all of you

    mama
    you owe me a tab a w77 and at some point I WILL collect!!!!!

  7. For Mike in IA..

    YOur note about the Hawks giving up a goal 10 seconds ( a/la Rangers) is not uncommon in Hockey.

    An analyst once did a study of this and found that the most dangerous time for a team to be wary of a score by the other team is directly following a goal of their own.

    Apparently there’s a sub consious let down by the scoring team that is hard to notice, but works on their behavior to an unaware ( by them ) extent.

    I wonder how a coach might have a drill with his players in practice and work on this very phenomenon.

  8. Happy Festivus? Not if you could see our books.

    Carp, a donation has been made in your name to The Human Fund… “Money for People.”

  9. Happy Festivus to all!!!

    Tonight will be the first game I have seen in a week. I have had my own games getting in the way. I was anxious to see how Redden reacted to his scratching, so any summaries/critiques would be appreciated. I guess I will see it for myself tonight.

    Again, Merry Christmas to everyone.

  10. Happy Festivus folks! Enjoy the aluminum pole!
    You’re by far the most immature and coolest group I’ve dealt with in my life! And I work with kids. So take it as a real compliment.

  11. Linda is a clutch baker on

    HAPPY FESTIVUS TO ALL!!! I am honored to be spending my first festivus with the most deranged, insane, and totally hilarious group of humans on the planet!

    In honor of Festivus, Captain Clutch will be chewing a special SILVER AND GOLD colored mouthpiece tonight! He’s mister clutch meister, he’s mister clutch!!!

  12. My sister surprised me with tickets to the game tonight! I’ll be traveling up from Philly to be at the game.

    IT’S A FESTIVUS MIRACLE!

  13. Unlike most celebs, she does a good job of making sure her nips don’t sneak out for some air.

    Everyone else always seems to have one here and there.

    Then again, she doesn’t do much. She says she prefers to stay home and play video games, and read comics.

    Yes, she is my dream girl !! If she were a Rangers fan, that would be absolutely inSANE !!!

  14. Orr-She doesn’t leave much to the imagination with some of those shirts she wears, but I agree, topless shots would be a miracle!!!

    Hell, if Alyssa Milano can do it, so can Megan Fox!!!

  15. How appropriate that we’re playing Florida on Festivus. Feels like the game should be played in Del Boca Vista though.

  16. Hockeyman Rangers on

    Merry Christmas to everyone, lets get a 4th straight win tonight. It will make my spirits brighter. They will be bright allready because I am blessed in so many ways, so I can not or will not complain. I hope you all can let bygones be bygones and spend Christmas with the ones you should love. Life is too short to have it any other way. Ok thats’s my preaching for this holiday. If they play the way they did against the Canes and give it 110% thats all we can ask for. Save travel home to all the players traveling to their loved ones, and everyone reading this blog. Carp thanks for all your hard work and bringing us Boneheads toghether. Merry Christmas.

  17. flynn- i know about that whole first shift after a goal is the most important deal. it is most likely because while theyre feeling good about themselves after getting the goal, the other team comes out pissed off and takes advantage. we did the exact same thing in carolina with gabby scoring just seconds after they scored on us. its weird, youd think the coaches and players would all be ready for that to happen by now. maybe they are, but it does happen alot. its almost teh same mentality players have when they are in a winning or losing position. when winning, they tend to sit back and not pressure as much. its not that the other team is so much better, its just the other team is in desperation mode. but ive also seen when a team sscores, it also can have an opposite effect, where they get a few goals in quick succession. thats where leadership and experience plays a big factor. and thank costanza we have the most clutch, most wise, and the biggest badass on ice leading us into the promised land of milk and honey and mouthpieces. it should be renamed clutch cup. or the drury cup. who else can score a goal and mutilate a fresh mouthpice with 7.7 seconds left, AT THE SAME TIME!!!! not jagr, thats for sure. drurys mouthpiece never went home crying in defeat like jagrs did. no sir. dru’s mouthpiece went home and made lil baby mouthpieces with mrs clutch mouthpiece. and when drury is having a bad game, you better believe he doesnt let his mouthpiece get away with it. not like jagr who would just give it the cold shoulder. that crap dont cut it in todays nhl.

  18. cwgatti

    I was @ the Carolina game and it looked like he had an up and down game to me. He did a few nice things, a few not so good things and a couple of WTF things. If you ask me, this is what we can expect out of him. He won’t get better no matter how much ice time he gets.

  19. flynn- sry for the rambling. i started off actually trying to have a decent discussion with you, but then the man,the myth,the legend,THE CLUTCH just couldnt be denied!!

    oh yea happy festivus to all!! and a happy (clutch) dru year!!

  20. hockeyman- unless my family all go to walmart and get me a new ps3 and all the games, a 50 inch lcd hdtv, a set of surround sound speakers and a black n white zebra snuggie, with 7.7 seconds left until midnight christmas morning, then they will all get brasheared and then put in figure 4 leglocks until they all spit out their mouthpieces in defeat!

  21. yes im sober ilb!! from alchohol anyways!!! who knows what im on now!! could be the percocet i got when i herniated my disk in my back and broke my coccyx too!! playin sports no less. could be the the nice mushrooms i picked the other day. i found them growing in a cow farm. they didnt smell too nice but they look liked they go perfect to put on my boboli do-it-yaself pizza!!

  22. THE REAL MikeyNJ on

    “As I rained down blows upon him..”

    One of THE funniest lines by Frank Costanza!

    Capr Happy Festivus! and Everyon else too

    LEts try for the 4th win in a row tonight!

    ANyone see the Sharks/HAwks game last night? Again 47 shots on goal for the Hawks, but Huet folds and gives up 3 goals on 11 shots.

    Washington and CHicago are the same. TONS of firepower, but the net is weak. IF you can get a lead on them and hold them off, you win the game.

    Washington and Chicago will be bounced from the playoffs due to this. you NEED solid golatending to win the cup

  23. CCC- he played with more edge and was fine most of the game. besides the hilariously funny 3 giveaway in 3 seconds thing where he actually got the puck back, only cuz the canes are worse than rozy at puck control, he did alright. but alright just isnt good enough. he knew he was getting his spot back, and it wasnt long enough of a punishment if u ask me. gilroy played the same as he always did too. the only thing redden can do now to get in our good graces at all, would be to play good d. hes obviously too slow nowadays to get a rush goin like dz, or to play pp time, so i dont expect any great numbers from him. only thing he can really win us over is if he takes on the role of crease clearer, or as good as he can be at that. he isnt a wuss. he is a pretty tough sob when he has to be. but if he just continues to play “good enough” just to be in the lineup, hes gonna get benched again and again. either he starts makin plays and gettin some goals, assists, or he focuses on being the vet d who will sacrifice his body to make a play, hit people hard!! and play a steady game in his end. i think a little of both would be too much to hope for. but he is capable. he just needs the desire that these young kids have. sometimes players as they get older lose there way. they get caught up in the politics of it, andtheir pride gets in teh way, or they just cant get do what they used to. i hate to say it, but redden looks like hes content with how he played.but hes gotta realize that hes not as safe as he or all of us thought he was. so either we see a better redden, or the heikkenen kid will be happy to take his place.

  24. I don’t post very often, but read this blog every day. Carp, you are amazing and your efforts are most definitely appreciated by everyone here. The regular posters to this site are certainly unique; while you guys (and gals) crack me up at times, it’s obvious that all bleed Ranger Blue.

    Happy Holidays to all; best wishes for a “Ranger New Year”…

  25. I love this place but am I the only person who can’t stand Seinfeld? I loved Kramer but Seinfeld whiny a$$ voice made me want to stab my ear drums with a screwdriver!

  26. Hey….Anyone know if you buy tickets at the IMAX box office, do you pay the same “Convenience” fee’s as you have to if you buy them online through TicketMaster?

  27. I thought there was no truth to the Carter, Hartnel’s wife rumor. There has got to be something goin on in that locker room though. They are to well built to be at rock bottom and digging.

    Wicky, havent come across that dvd yet. TBH, I havent been looking very hard either. Really busy lately. I did ask for it for xmas though so maybe..

  28. Tank The Season on

    The word is Jeff Carter is almost certain to be traded this year. They want Kovalchuk in Philly and will overpay to get him.

    I only have one grievance to air, and that is for Sather. Oh, the disappointment.

  29. Popularized by the sitcom, the December 23 observance calls for little more than the erection…………………………………………………………….of an aluminum pole, the airing of grievances and the demonstration of feats of strength.

  30. Well I will be in the city with the girlfriend today but unfortunately no Ranger game :( I’m going to have to get home early enough to watch it DVR’d before I have to get up for work tomorrow. BAH!

  31. Linda and everyone else

    I got good news from MAKO- everything is OK and he is planning to join us for the game tonight!
    How is that for good Festivus news?!

  32. Hartnell’s girl is pretty smokin’. Saw her on his “Day in the Life” on NHL Network. Funny thing is Adam Hall met her first at the Abercrombie she worked at, then invited her and her friends out with him, Hartnell and another Preds player. Sure enough as he does with everything else, Hall sucked so she was more interested in Hartnell.

    I heard that was just a BS rumor though. Although it wouldn’t surprise me since Lindros fooled around with Brind’Amour’s wife, got his ass kicked, and was kicked out of Philly.

    Pretty pumped to be at the Garden tonight, but I just feel like this is going to be a let down game.

  33. Also what the hell is Brooksie’s problem? So what if they aren’t scoring and are focusing a bit more on defense? it means that Torts sees that he can’t play so aggressive with this team if he wants to win games and is making slight adjustments to get them the 2 points they need. It’s definitely noticable.

    They started off great with the really aggressive forecheck (almost all 3 guys deep) but tired out and went on that slide for awhile. Now he’s having the 1 forward stay higher to avoid odd man rushes when the D pinches. It’s the smart move, but of course Brooks makes it sound like its a bad thing. Terrible reporting on his part.

  34. wicky229 (it's not about skill, it's about will) on

    jonny
    don’t forget the janney and shanny wife debacle in the STL.

  35. Folks, I have very little interest in whom Hartnell’s wife sleeps with. And how often. But if it helps them stay out of playoffs, go ahead, knock yourself out. As long as they use protection…

  36. Wicky, how is the snow in Montana. I still have 13 in covering my backyard! Eat your heart out!

    Fellows in Best Buy- if you think this place is crazy, you’re right. Welcome to RR! Youll fit right in!

  37. “see youse later”.. Carp must be watching that Jersey Shore show.

    I’m like yo chill freckles mccgee

  38. Brooks is just not getting into the Festivus spirit (or maybe he is. he seems to have grievances).
    I’m not gonna be able to make warren tonight. I am sad.
    Spike update on sister blog, fyi.

  39. wicky229 (it's not about skill, it's about will) on

    ilb
    It’s getting too warm here, we only have about 4 inches standing in the back yard now. Lost Trail and Big sky both have about 3 ft or so of base….not enough snow!!!

    Those poor poor krakatoans!!

  40. Steve Trac (sec 303)
    December 22nd, 2009 at 1:52 am
    303 section tickets to Wednesday’s Panthers game: $115 (my cost). Let me know and I can email them to you. You can’t get these cheaper and they’re great seats.

    steve at blacks4 dot com

  41. Lets send Lundqvist to Philly for Carter. It’s a great deal. We need scoring, they need goaltending. It’s the only thing to do to save our season.

    Haha just kidding.

    Anybody on here use a laptop ? Im gonna buy one but i don’t know which to get, i was thinking HP or Sony Vaio.

    Im looking to spend aboot $800-$900

  42. Nasty, I too have heard that rumor about Carter sleeping with Hartnell’s wife, and heard it from a reliable source who works in their organization. Considering I personally know a couple people who have hooked up with Carter at places like the Public House, and that Jeff Carter has Tiger Woodsed most of Center City Philadelphia, the rumor is of no surprise. If it turns out to be true, then Carter MUST be traded. Even though he’s more valauble to the team, his presence would be a cancer. You can’t get rid of Hartnell as it sends the wrong message to the team.

    What is it with Philly and rampant adultery? Lindros banged Rod Brind A’mour’s wife and then Rod beat the Hell out of him.

    I had heard through the grapevine that Ted Nolan banged Hasek’s wife in Buffalo, too. WTF

  43. Great news on Mako ilb!!!

    No news on my friends brother, nothings changed since last night. Too sad. Thanks for asking Sally, that’s why you’re Sassy!

    Patrick, I’m not a seinfeld fan either, but ya gotta love festivus!

    Continued FIRE SATHER CHANTS only count as one grievance, no matter how many of use air it!!!

  44. Good afternoon, Sally!
    Yes, Linda, we are thinking of you and your friend.
    And that’s great news on Mako. It’ll be great to have him back tonight.

  45. Joe, well, Philly is the city of brotherly love, they just love each others wives and girlfriends! Man-hos, just to funny!!!

    Thanks Rick!

  46. damnit i am having spelling issues today!! USE= us, to =too

    January 7 is Rozsival day in Russia??? :-) I know I’ll be in ATL watchin Kovy and the Thrashers take on our beloved, dysfunctional group!

  47. Happy Festivus EVERYBODY!

    btw,
    Carp
    any reasoning behind Boyle playing and Christensen sitting.

    didn’t think the C Man did that bad. hell, at least he took shots on goal at decent angles. better than a lot of other Blueshirts.

  48. Shoryuken what games have you been watching, Rozsival has been hitting… substitute Redden for Rozsival in your post and it becomes legit

  49. jpg- yes, Boyle showed Torts he had cojones, he faught Dubi in practice. Hey, look at it this way- at least he didn’t bang anyone’s wife!

  50. the seinfeld fixation is boring and self-indulgent. but hey thats what the blogging opportunity is….

  51. NHL.com has posted the “All Star team of the decade”. Pretty interesting.

    http://www.nhl.com/ice/news.htm?id=510915&navid=DL|NHL|home

    Somethings that I disagree with
    1) Scott Neidermeyer first line D
    2) No Brian Leetch
    3) Jagr under Jarome Iginla
    4) Best center Joe Sakic?
    5) Chris Osgood second best goaltender?
    6) Wheres our beloved Chris Drury?

  52. wicky229 (it's not about skill, it's about will) on

    orr

    definitely go with a mac book, pc’s suck. Go to the mac web page and go to the refurbished link, you can get them for the dollars you want to spend and they are AWESOME!!!

  53. wicky229 (it's not about skill, it's about will) on

    rob m
    Hockey is a fast paced game, so your error is understandable…ruutu leveled rozy and rozy DID NOT initiate it. It’s ok, easy mistake! Rozy as a body of work has been much much worse than redden for the season so far and they do play on ice, so rozy will occasionally fall down on the ice or goes too fast and can’t stop in time and may actually run into someone!

  54. Joe from DE – it wasn’t just Rod that kicked Lindros’ ass. There were a bunch of other players involved on that. My source that actually knew guys on that team said it was the reason why Lindros had that punctured lung and was found in a bathtub and not an actual on ice injury.

    wicky – you haven’t been watching either then. Rosy has been hitting. Obviously Ruutu hit him on that play, but he’s been roughing it up with some guys. Even Wade threw a few hits here and there and knocked a couple guys down, although most of the time people fell down, it was more so because Wade didn’t actually try and do it haha.

  55. I find that in the rankings of decades or era’s that the more current a player is, the higher he is ranked. If this ranking was done the year following one of Jagr’s best years, he would be on top. Iggy is more current and playing in North America, so he gets the nod. I am not a whos better than who guy by any stretch of the imagination. If they dont wear blue, I barely notice them. This is due more so to my affection to staying married than my love of all things hockey. A man’s got to know his limitations, and she makes sure she tells me them. ;)

  56. Leetch and Jagr were players of the 90s, not 2000s. Leetch’s game wasn’t the same once the new decade rolled around, plus he didn’t play long enough. Jagr had most of his success in Pittsburgh and most of those years were in the 90s. No idea why Osgood is up there, maybe because of the cup wins I guess.

  57. No no no Mac !!!

    Im a PC kind of guy. The only mac i like are the big ones.

    I checked it out today, the Mac Book, and the Air one, or what ever. They’re not bad, but ive been using PC my whole life. Right now im using a Mac computer, and i don’t like it that much, i cant find anything, and i couldn’t install my Zune.

    Anyway, i wish Dreary, Dredden, and Blowzival would start banging the wives/gf’s of their teammates. Then they would get traded !!

  58. On rosival, I remember one play from the Canes game where He pinched and was beat out positionaly and kind of stood near a Cane by the offensive far boards, the defender knowing he was there leaned into rosi, but rosi never got close enough to make contact, so the D fell over from the open space. I couldn’t help but laugh.

  59. Callahan For Captain on

    What! A doll for you son, but no dress? A Tommy gun for your daughter, with karate lessons thrown in, plus a girl friend for her to fall in love with? Sounds like a normal, emotionally-healthy family to me. Merry X-mas, as in X-rated.

  60. wicky229 (it's not about skill, it's about will) on

    jonny
    regarding your first post, I was just joking about the whole rozy falling thing. As a body of work though, redden has still been quite a bit better than rozy this season.

    and I agree 100% with your second post!

  61. What do you guys think is better: Seinfeld or Curb Your Enthusiasm?

    I vote for CURB all the way.

  62. Callahan For Captain on

    My New Year’s Wish List:

    1. Rangers fire Sather and measurably upgrade by hiring Woody Allen as GM.

    2. Ex-Yankee Melky Cabrera (He does have a last name, same as you do, Mr. Sterling) hits .325 and 35 home runs plus totals 115 RBI’s in Atlanta, while Javier Vasquez pitches (and rolls) more like Ferdinand Magellan and winds up with a sub-.500 W-L record.

    3. Knicks and the rest of the NBA rapper-wannabees shorten their panties by about 8 inches. Now if they could just shorten the players by about 8 inches and get back to real basketball instead of slam-dunkitball.

    4. Giants miss the playoffs, even when the NFL puts all 32 teams into the post-season party.

    5. Jets move to Madison Square Garden, replacing the Knicks who move to Bayonne. Bayonne Knickerbockers – it has a certain charm.

    6. NYU re-ups for basketball. I mean, how ridiculous can the school get, trashing and never reinstituting both the football and basketball programs? Are they that elite, academically? Even Harvard and Stanford still fake their way through having sports programs.

    7. Mets finally get off the dime and sign a bunch of Matt Stairs five-tool clones – challenge for eighth place in a five-team division.

    Happy New Year Everyone (If that is not too politically incorrect.)

  63. Mike in IA

    JUst for the devile of it, let’s all keep an eye out for that quick return score in the next few games and see how often it actually happens. I know I was aware of it long before I read that article, It’s sometimes almost eerie.

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