(Ed. note: Colorado Mark wrote this before the Dubinsky signing).
FALL TV PREVIEW RANGERS STYLE:
And now for something different. While browsing my Entertainment Weekly magazine, I noticed a lot of new shows starting up. Here are some excerpts!
EXTREME MAKEOVER: RANGER EDITION: This show has been on forever.
SURVIVOR: NYC: 10 Rookies move into the veterans undersized apartment in Manhattan for training camp. Each day one is voted “off the island” as there is only room for three. Watch as Sean irritates his roommates by “rocking” his “straight Speedo” while cooking breakfast, ridiculing their lack of fashion-sense and bringing home Paris Hilton and an Olsen twin at three in the morning before Tortorella’s first day of camp.
THE AMAZING RACE: Enver Lisin challenges Rico Fata and Fred Sjostrom for the title of “Fastest Skater Who Can’t Score!”.
BIG BROTHER: A documentary on the Staal household, where Marc suffers through yet another summer Stanley Cup Party he can’t enjoy.
TWO AND A HALF MEN: A comedy starring linemates Vinny Prospal, Marian Gaborik and Sean Avery (Who lost half his man-card for interning at Vogue).
THE BIGGEST LOSER:– Starring Wade Redden. Check local listings for a blue-line near you.
AMERICA’S GOT TALENT: Ryan Callahan, Brandon Dubinsky, Matt Gilroy and the
Chrises (Drury, & Higgins) compete for a spot on the US Olympic team. Watch as
they hide Henrik Lundqvist’s cup the night before the big game.
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE?: Starring Donald Brashear.
TRAUMA: Hopefully NOT starring Marian Gaborik!
THE FORGOTTEN: A drama starring Nigel Dawes, Petr Prucha, Scott Gomez, Blair Betts & Paul Mara.
HELL’S KITCHEN: Head Chef John Tortorella searches for the right ingredients to make Ranger Soup. Watch as he stirs the pot, seasons with plenty of salty language, then throws it all in the pressure cooker!
HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER: The Trash Talk Techniques of Sean Avery.
HANK: ‘Nuff said!
BIG BANG THEORY: A comedy about the Rangers attempts to revive their impotent power-play, starring Marian Gaborik as the “Bang” for the Rangers Bucks!
FRINGE: Fourth Line hopefuls Brian Boyle, Donald Brashear and Aaron Voros search for the mysterious, elusive entity known as icetime.
LOST: Brandon Dubinsky and his agent find themselves on a mysterious island where they are stalked by a Cigar-Smoke Monster and can’t get to training camp.
PRIVATE PRACTICE: Also starring Brandon Dubinsky.
FLASH FORWARD: A fun fantasy about the future of the Rangers after Glen Sather retires.
BONES: No comment from CBS as to the rumor that the show has been renamed “Bone-Heads” featuring a bunch of wannabe bloggers bickering over line combinations.
Of course a lot of these shows won’t last very long, and there are sure to be mid-season replacements (Two Tom Renney Projects are in production, The Mentalist and Bored to Death, the latter featuring his Power Play ). Since this blog seems to have multiple sources, I am sure that there are some insiders who can let us know of other shows on tap!
Thanks to Carp and the blog for letting me attempt to induce chuckles!