Happy birthday, A-Rod


There really isn’t much going on with hockey — unless USA Hockey comes up with some big names this afternoon when it announces it new inductees into the US hockey Hall of Fame.

So I want to share a thought. I was driving home from an interview last night and I put on the Yankees game on the car radio. The two announcers were talking about Alex Rodriguez’s birthday. Oh boy! Yippeee!

What, they wondered, would you get A-Rod for his birthday? What do you get a guy who has everything, and if he doesn’t have it, he can get it in five seconds?

They couldn’t come up with anything. So I thought I’d put together a list:

How about a personality? Some friends? A relationship? A clue? Some more “boli”? A championship ring? An important October hit? Some common sense? Some sincerity? Some inner security?


A pretty good summer hockey read over at NHL.com about hockey stats and records. You can see it here.

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  1. Since Micheal Vick’s been reinstated and is a free agent maybe we could get him to quarterback the powerplay. Can’t be any worse than last year.

  2. Typical vitriol for A-Rod. I understand it, I really do. But on a hockey blog?

    This guy actually does have fans. I’m a rabid Yankee fan and an A-Rod supporter. He’s not without his flaws, but EVERY athlete has flaws. I think some of the hate is brought on him by himself, but it’s not all deserved.

  3. I bet A-Greed doesnt have the battery-operated marshmallow roaster that has 3 prongs to evenly cook 3 marshmallows at a time! i think ill get him that.

  4. Happy Birthday A-Roid – i sent you a Goldie Hawn blu-ray box-set and a Snake Pliskin eye patch (and the number for a good auto bodyshop!!)

    Talking of birthdays when is Josh’s 27th birthday party?

  5. How about a personality? Possibly not to your liking but he has one.

    Some friends? He has friends. Too many hangers-on but that seems to have been pared down this year.

    A relationship? Family, his daughters and Kate Hudson would fit that bill

    A clue? He seems to have gotten one this year.

    Some more “boli”? You need Boli less when you have pitching and a manager who is supportive of you.

    An important October hit? He’s already gotten those.

    Some common sense? Not turning the roids drama into a Clemens/Bonds drama showed common sense.

    Some sincerity? To sports writers who smile at his face and
    stab him with their pens? To fans who boo him when he flies out in a game with the Yanks up 6-1?

    Some inner security? How many guys could withstand the arrows shot at them for years in the city of NY and still perform at such a high level? There’s a whole lot more inner security there than he gets credit for.

    A championship ring? We have a winner! That’s the only thing that A-Rod doesn’t have that he can’t get without some help from someone else.

  6. Wow- that was pretty rough on A-rod from Rangers report- he has been the Yankees MVP this year so far- so I would get him probably a 4/5th starter if I could…

    Also, tons of fans can choose to forget, but in 2004 Arod was the Yankees best player against the Twins in a series we would have lost without him-

  7. Why are we talking about A-Tool on the Rangers blog? Who really cares about him except for those Yankee shills John (Not So) Sterling and Suzyn (Wah-Wah)Waldman?

  8. i dont know much about baseball but i do know this
    the blue jays hats are friggen sweet (new era fitteds!)

    and every rookie card i have is worthless cause of steroids.
    thanks for killing my kids future guys, lol.

  9. Wow. I was just looking to fill some space in what has become an awfully SLOW hockey period of time. I didn’t know I’d get such reactions from both sides. Most if it was in jest, guys.

  10. carp that was disgusting, hows your dead end job going? sensing a little jealousy there. have the guts to say that to arods face? i dont think so. alex is actually a great guy who probably saved my friends child by donating money to the clinic he was at.

  11. Carp,

    let’s talk about the under 20 USA-Russia series coming up where 3 Ranger prospects will compete, or what pieces the Rangers have left to fill on this roster or hell, story time. You’ve got lots of great stories, give us a good one and then we can discuss from there

  12. How could it be so slow when the Rangers have such holes to fill. Less than two weeks ago, Tortorella said “we’re a little thing down the middle, but Glen is working on that.” Are we not seeing any movement because of arbitration right now?

    Casey, I love everything you said about A-Rod. It’s all true. He’s not the most likeable guy on earth, but he has suffered through an enormous amount of abuse since 2004, and still has won two MVPs, and WILL be a part of at least one championship team before his time here is up (this year looks more and more likely as each day passes!).

  13. We should get A Roid a new writer for when he confesses he took steroids almost by accident. As he said, his cousin injected him with who knows what, and the pressure in Texas was great there, yet he stopped when he became a Yankee. Meaning its tougher to play baseball for the Rangers than it is for the Yanks. Yeah, right.Stop buying pennants.

  14. Carp,

    Does this mean you will not be applying for the “Assistant to the Traveling Secretary” position that just opened up??

    *Everyone needs to relax with the negative posting, its July 28th- if there isnt hockey stuff to report, there isnt hockey stuff to report*

  15. Just think about the Yankees for a moment, then come back to hockey. Now, say there are no salary limits to our sport, and the New Jersey team has billions to spend, we are not that rich in my scenario. Now, Jersey comes during free agency and signs Lundqvist Dubinsky and Staal, thats basically what the Yankees do every year, look at half the teams in that sport, no chance at all to EVER win anything. If the Yankees plane crashed into a building, many fans including me would celebrate.

  16. it’s also zach “i’m going to fade into obscurity under lemaire’s boring sit-on-one-goal defensive system” parise’s birthday

  17. In hockey news... on

    Tampa told Vinny Prospal that they intend to buy him out. He has 24 hours to agree to the buyout or be placed on waivers.

    Is he someone you’d consider? Didn’t he play for Torts?

  18. UESBlueshirt on

    C’mon, we’re not seriously going to blame the Yankees for paying top dollar for talent and then pretend the Rangers didn’t try to do the same pre-lockout. I’m not even a Yankees fan but I realize that they’re only playing by the rules. I don’t condone it and relish the fact that it hasn’t brought them the success they though it would, but almost every fan of a NY team would kill their owners for not spending like a big market team if there weren’t salary caps in the other 3 sports.

  19. CARP

    A-Roid is dating Kate Hudson.

    I make it my business to know when the babes are taken off the market. Fugg that roid freak !!! I hope he chokes on sushi !

    Speaking of Hudson, what an ass on that girl. Doesn’t have the tater tots to match the shake though, but eh, no problem.

  20. Kate Hudson is another loud mouth Hollywood a-hole who thinks everybody wants to hear her position on politics. I don’t care if she has a nice ass, she is an ass, sorry Orr. I’d give A-Rod one of those batting buddies that you tie to a tree and learn how to hit, but he’d have to try it out in late October when the leaves are falling off of the tree.

    Good job Carp, keep feeding the lions. At least we don’t have make up line combos or bad Rozi + picks for ____ trade scenarios.

  21. BroadwayBlue on

    Just to get the hockey juices following: while I readily admit the Rangers- Islanders rivalry is one of the better sports rivalries, the ice has been tilted in NYR’s favor recently & will remain so for the foreseeable future. I’ve been keeping quiet throughout all this nonsense about the Islanders & Garth Snow rebuilding the right way. As I’ve maintained, you can’t make chicken salad from chicken feathers, & the majority of the Islander young players are definitely chicken feathers. We’ll obviously withhold judgment on Tavares and give Bailey some more time, but other than Okposo & possibly Bergenheim, the Islanders will not be a contender with the likes of Tambellini, Gervais, Nilsson, Hillen playing regularly. Also hurting the team is the owner, who continually thinks & operates as if he’s smarter than the rest of the NHL.
    As I Rangers fan, I was a little concerned when Wang named Neil Smith as the G.M., but, replacing him with Garth Snow & their crack management committee eased that concern. While it shouldn’t be hard picking an overall #1 in any draft, Snow & the Islanders then forfeited many of the picks they amassed last year by trading up & taking an offensive defensman, Calvin de Haan, at #12, when all the scouting services had him going toward the end of the 1st round. Most analysts felt de Haan would probably have been there at #26- where the Islanders next picked. Furthermore, how would their rebuilding look if they had taken Luke Schenn or Nikita Filatov instead of Josh Bailey to go along with Tavares? There’s really no reason to candy-coat it, the Islanders will not matter in the hockey sense for the some time. Don’t be surprised if they get another top 5 pick in next year’s draft. Then again, the way the NHL works now, to become a contender, a team needs to be lousy for more than a couple years. Take a look at Pittsburgh: Crosby- #1 overall, Fleury- #1 overall, Staal- #2 overall, Malkin- #2 overall only because Ovechkin went #1, Ryan Whitney, who they used to get Chris Kunitz, #5 overall. Same goes for the Black Hawks. After more than a decade of being awful, they went to the conference semis. Why was Dale Tallon, prior to his removal for almost screwing up the signings of their RFAs, lauded for his “rebuilding”. Let’s face it, if a team is in the middle of the pack, it will need a lot of luck & the signings of a significant free agent or 2 to become a serious contender.

  22. Carp isn’t going after an assistant to the traveling secretary position. He is more interested in a player development position! :-)

  23. “Kate Hudson is another loud mouth Hollywood a-hole who thinks everybody wants to hear her position on politics.”

    22figure8–You must be thinking of someone else. Kate Hudson has NEVER talked about politics which is something I really like about her. She learned from her stepdad Kurt Russell to shut up about politics. They had to move to Colorado when she was young so he could hunt in peace. While she doesn’t share his right-of-center stances I’m sure, she has never spoken a word about it.

  24. How about everyone getting off his back? Truth is i actually like the guy more this year after everyone got on em for his personal life, the surgery, the roids and the book in which torre ripped on em….he is taking it like a champ playing 3rd basebase really well and being a very important part to his team

  25. It’s not the Yankees so much as the Union and the court system holding baseball fans and owners hostage in favor of overpaid players and a lop-sided/rigged competion aspect to the game. Pete Rozelle should have been Commissioner of baseball. He made everyone competitive in the NFL. Green Bay went from a 1-10-1 record to the NFL championship in three years. We will never see the Pittsburgh’s and Kansas City’s competitive, again, in baseball. The small market teams just develop and then lose their best players to Yankees and Cubs and Red Sox and Dodgers money. Wheee, what fun, year after year.

    Thank God for Hockey’s salary cap. Not a perfect system but I love the change from the days when Montreal coulddraft every prospect in Quebec (see Geoffrion and Beliveau) and the Rangers could draft every kid who could play stickball coming out of Newark.

    Screw baseball which thinks the rest of us are just here for the benefit of the Player’s Union. Really happy my Phillies stole a World Championship, a year ago. Never expected to see that, a second time. Two rings in 28 years.

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