Coffey break


Paul Coffey was on the commish’s radio show yesterday and it reminded me of yet another one of my dumb stories, as Coffey always does.

Not sure if it was the ’83 or ’84 Cup finals at Nassau Coliseum. My softball season had already begun, and in the opener, I stumbled coming out of the batter’s box, fell and broke my wrist. Naturally, that was cause for much mockery from my teammates — me going down about two steps toward first base, sliding head-first, and wrecking my season in the first inning.

Anyway, I was back at work pretty quickly with one of those removable casts with the velcro, and a tape recorder, since I couldn’t write. It was postgame and I’m standing right next to Coffey’s locker with a large group of writers. I put my bad arm up toward the top of the side of his locker just to get it out of the way, while I held the recorder in my left.

Well, Coffey’s agitated about something or other, and as he’s snapping at questions, I decided to move for some reason. Only the velcro on my wrist had grabbed the velcro on his shoulder pads up on top of his locker, and now the shoulder pads were pulling pretty much everything — his helmet, pads, even a skate, I think, down on top of Coffey. He wasn’t happy.

About Author


  1. Coffey sounds like another sports prima donna. Would have been a better story of you had hit him over the head with your cast and given him a concussion Carp.

  2. I heard that Coffey is a real JERK, so don’t take it personally. Don’t feel bad, I tripped on my laces once going full tilt around second, and it felt like someone chopped my knees with a stick. (I took the laces out of a pair of high tops so they were wayyyy to long). Everyone broke my shoes saying that there was a sniper behind third. And everytime someone fell they would look at me.

  3. Carp, when I was about 12 or 13 I was going out on the field for warm ups before the little league all star game. As I left the dugout, a girl that I really liked called out to me. As I was jogging I turned around to say hi and I tripped, going backwards and fell. I broke my wrist and had to have it reset. At least she signed my cast.

  4. Doodie Machetto on

    Since a couple of people have commented on my Neil Smith draft record comment, allow me to clarify a couple of things:

    1) I was saying SPECIFICALLY in the first round.
    2) I was saying what they did AS RANGERS.

    So Carp, out of that littany of players you listed, only Cloutier was picked in the first round. But he did nothing for the Rangers.

    And tdchi, Steve Rice helped bring in Messier, but really, it was his potential that was worth something, not his play, as he played a whopping 11 games as a Ranger, and had a pretty mediocre career.

    I was saying that Kovalev was the only player that Smith drafted in the first round that did anything for the Rangers. Not anywhere approaching what he did for other teams, but he was still a very important cog in our Cup victory (Game 6 against the Devs in particular).

    And Carp, I love that you mentioned Ram. I remember his only game. We were getting drubbed by the Avalanche. I think the final was 6-1.

  5. Carp that was very un-C-$ of you…but funny.

    I remember one time, it was one of my first games playing ice hockey, I was about 6, and I forgot to take the skate guards off my skate (I was a goalie so I couldnt see the bottom of my skates to realize this). So i go on to the ice and fall flat on my face. Thinking nothihng of it, i get back up only to fall right back down. I soon figured it out. LOL

  6. CARP

    Do you want me to beat Coffey up ? I have this hockey stick, and ever since game 7, ive been practicing my McSorley chop. If you need me, ill be here. Stick in hand, heart on sleeve !!!

    All Isles must go to hell !!!!!

  7. “HA kid, you really think i am that bad? I gave you couple of freebies… charity sort of speak… i got a new game pad and I’m coming for you Buddy – ORR!”


    Lol, did you really give me freebies ? I kind of gave you you freebies too. On your first goal in game 1, i think i put the puck in my own net, Malik style. And your only goal in game 2, i was trying to switch songs on my Zune, and out of nowhere you scored !

    Ill be on tonight, probably at 10 p.m, or around that time.

  8. Nice story Rick!

    i would’ve probably died laughing if i saw you stumbling and falling down! sorry…

  9. Orr, Coffey is way down my list of people I’d ask you to beat up, if I were so inclined. I have a few others in mind.

    Doodie, Ram’s one game, we in the press box were calling him “Sacrificial Ram.”

    CCCP and others, the me falling down part was far funnier, for those who saw it, than the Coffey incident that followed.

  10. Carp that story is hysterical lol the other writers must have Razzed you to No end.

    Oh BTW I will be on MSG Network on their “Fans Most wanted” show TONIGHT at 7:30 and 12:30 AM talking about Gretzky as a Ranger. It lasts only like 25 seconds but hey it’s my cable TV debut ! My ugly mug appears at the very end of the show.

  11. Carp, funny story.

    But the sad truth is we have to fill our days with stories and what we should do and not do…I am tired of it.

    We should be talking about our opponnet in the Stanley Cup.

    We are a middle of the road team that will win the Cup every 30 or so years…until we get a family like the Rooneys to buy us or a group that really cares about winning.

    You can’t run a sports team like a corporation…because when you do…you are stuck with the mess that we are in..

    We deserve better…we should demand it.

    Then to add insult to injury…I see the Caps signing guys who are 6’5 215 lbs and the Oilers signing guys who are 6’3 225 pounds and we sign guys who don’t break 6′ or 200 lbs…we will never win like this.

    I hate the Dolans and Sather with all my heart.

  12. And this one will last a lifetime on


    Thanks for that story. That is just so funny, and the way you wrote it made it easy to picture it happening.

    Coffey probably got hurt on that play because he would not have known how to defend that move (or any other move)

  13. MIKE G

    Yup, so far im 2-0 against Rangers Report posters. But i only went against one.


    That sounds awesome. As long as we get to replace Redden, and Rozsival with prospects !!!

  14. Orr, when you use the EASHL you create a player and he is who you use. It’s similar to the Be a Pro mode, and when you go online, you can get together with people and make a team of your created guys, earning ranking points and whatnot against other teams. It’s actually pretty fun, and they’re expanding it for NHL 10.

  15. SHOR

    Awesome, i feel more confident skating around as myself than Dreary.


    Me might have to have that rematch tomorrow. For some reason i cant log in to EA. It happens every now and then. Ill see if i can get it fixed before then.

  16. I should have my 360 back today. I am just waiting for UPS to get here. I don’t have a PS3 tho, so if you guys are playing on there I won’t be able to participate. I’ve been mulling over whether or not I should get a PS3 or not, but have made no decision so far. I would like to be able to play bluray movies, but…eh whatever. I’ll probably be on 360 later if anyone is interested in that…I don’t have NHL 09 for that, since my 360 broke I didn’t pick it up. Now I might as well wait until NHL 10 comes out.

  17. ORR

    no doubt… come when you ready son! ill be there! lol

    One Ranger Love

    there is nothing to think about… PS3 is great! And whats $300 now days?

  18. DAMN you guys play on PS3….I am an xbox guy. So no go. PS3 controllers are too damn light. i feel like my hulk fists will crush them to dust.

  19. Reporting with a broken wrist??? What guts! What a winner! Carpin’ Clutch!

    You wrecked Coffey’s equipment, I went -3 in 7 minutes vs. Washington! But at least we got out there and did our jobs! What heroes!

    Best story ever!

  20. Rick, you still have time to put a little embellishment in that story for us. I find the ending a tad anticlimactic.

    So Rick, what happened AFTER the “He wasn’t happy” part” He asked you to drop your cast, didn’t he?

  21. Well we’ll just have an xbox team and a PS3 team, no big. Beating all the lame asses playing as Pittsburgh is the same on both haha.

    My PSN is Solskjaer20, add me. I’ve been playing UFC lately and I’m probably buying Tiger Woods next week.

  22. Shoryuken

    ill add you! How is that UFC game? is it worth buying?

    Tiger Woods eh… i dont like that dude at all…esp. after what he said about Hockey. He said something like “Hockey, what a dumb sport… people still watch it?”

  23. Eh, I don’t think I’ll be buying a PS3 anytime soon. However, I also have a 360 if anyone is interested in getting something going. My gamertag: War ARC

    I’ve got the usual suspect games, Madden 09, MLB 2K8 and NHL 08. Like I said, I didn’t buy NHL 09 cus my 360 was broken, but now I think I might just wait till NHL 10 comes out. 09 is still 50+ bucks.

  24. this is for all the gamers on here…

    Have you guys heard of gamefly website? if not check it out… you can rent games online… no late fees…keep the game as much as you want… and they ship it fast too! There are few ways to keep the games you rent… all it takes is a little creativity. (wink wink)

  25. Gamefly is awesome, i have to get an account ! I love the PS3, but i hate paying $60 for a game and beating it in a week. But then again, you can just sell it on ebay, and make $40-$50 for it used, so it’s not bad when you think aboot it.


    You should get a PS3 at some point. I think it’s better than the 360 in my opinion. 360’s online play is better, but at the same time you have to pay for it. PS3’s is free, but sometimes there’s a lot of freezing, and skipping if you verse someone with a bad internet connection. Also you can go on websites, and you can even check out nudie sites, like the one that’s attached to my name. And yeah, the Bluray is a great addition. As far as the games go, it’s even.

    Go PS3


    Ill add you. What’s your record in NHL 09 ?

    My connection is back and running, so im ready to destroy !!!

  26. Oh yeah, and ill send you a picture of Megan Fox in skin tight leather pants, topless while covering her gonzagas, as i always do when i add someone. Cause im a nice guy.

  27. HAHAHAHA !

    I hope he’s so hurt that it ruins his game and he turns into nothing more than a 3rd line checking center. And Hedman, and the other kid turn out to be stars, and the Isles get stuck with the bust of the draft !!

    Mwaaaahahahahaha !

  28. tdchi – Dubi and cally are going nowhere, they have played 2 full years in the NHL and ur convinced they arent going to be top flight scorers, anything can happen
    the only thing that cant happen is them being traded anytime soon, your crazy, and i still dont understand how your convinced whoever we woudl draft at one of the top spots would automatically b a 100pt guy, your shot
    cally/dubi/staal/girardi/henrik = the rangers

  29. JBytes, here’s the embellished ending to that story.

    So Coffey says to me, “WTF, man?”
    And I said it was an accident, but he cursed me out again, so I dropped my recorder. At that point, Coffey backed off, but Dave Semenko came across the room. I didn’t have use of my right hand, so I threw a left hook and Semenko went down. Before you knew it, Messier and McClelland and Anderson were all crawling on me. But the writers all jumped in and we beat their butts. They ran out of Nassau Coliseum and straight to their jet back to Edmonton. When they came back later in the series, they were like a bunch of weenies, meek and polite. They won’t mess with hockey writers again, I’ll tell you that.

    PS, that’s also why Slats and Muckler hate me.

  30. LMAO Carp!

    Rick, i got a neighbor here that is always on my case… wanna come and lay her out for me!

  31. theres no way we are going to be able to trade up for one of the top 2-3 picks anyway so dream on

  32. I know a lot of the wolf pack including Sangunetti play call of duty on X box. We should get a team together to kick their azzes on line. I played the game years ago but know nothing of the X box version.

  33. I should post on here more I didn’t know you guys played NHL 09. Check out this lucky move I pulled on some kid online.

    I had to get rid of NHL 09 for money purposes, but if you guys want to play I’ll definitely get NHL 10 when it drops. CapturedPenguin is my PSN name, I’m something like 135-85-32 online and would love to play with people who don’t cheese every goal.

  34. nice…we got like 4 or 5 people playing PS3 NHL online!

    all the PS3 geeks come out and unite! If we get few more we can create a league and play for the NHL 09 crown and the bragging rights! Big children.

    my ps3 name: NYR_Odessa

  35. ZzZz 13 ZzZz saga continues... !! says Greg L. on

    x-box 360 here and am still playing against a buddy and will be online maybe in a few months. Back in EA NHL 95 I was the Grand Champion of my city , it was a 6 week tourny in which I played in the finals of the whole thing and won!!!

  36. ZzZz 13 ZzZz saga continues... !! says Greg L. on

    Rick ” TYSON ” Carpiniello !!!! Awsome story!!

  37. One Ranger Love on

    Dang guys. You guys are making want to go out and get a PS3! ha Oh well…not anytime soon at least. I might pick up nhl 09 soon. when is nhl 10 coming out? should i wait till that comes out? either way, it will be on my 360 that I just got back about 4 hours ago! They gave me a free month of xbox live for the hassle.

  38. Doodie Machetto on

    Carp, can I quote you on the ending of that story?

    Also, “sacrificial Ram” is awesome. Even though he turned away the nine shots he saw. Poor Healy. I feel like that was one of the first games after Richter went down.

  39. orange love- i already oredered nhl 10 but its due in late august or september. stick with x box man. onlines better!!

  40. my bad, one ranger love. not orange love!! sorry man just woke up from my post workout nap

  41. cccp- i won 2nd place volleyball tournament for gym class in 6th grade!!! am i cool too? i also got 9th place in the mile run on field day!!! we won the tug of war too. we had a girl we called big bertha in the back. she was like 5’9″ in 5th grade and weighed probably 200 lbs!!!

  42. I have a drunk Glen Anderson story.

    I was on a schlocky gambling boat in south Florida long before the Indian Casino. This was 1997-98ish. I did not recognize him right away but I noticed the big ring on his finger. Just then I saw it was the Rangers cup ring. He was wasted at the bar and we were remembering the “old” days. I am pretty sure he does not have his edmonton rings anymore.

  43. Speed Ranger on

    Good story Carp. And original – beats all the others this time of year, quoting stats for a team down 3-0 and players who have to give 110% when their back’s against the wall….. I so appreciate an interesting read.

  44. hey guys, i just checked out the leafs player stats for this year, and kaberle had 1 more goal and 2 more points than redden. 4 goals for kaberle!! we are not trading staal who also had about 3 or 4 himself plus dubinsky for kaberle and the 7th pick. kaberle is a better d man than redden but his value in my mind is not much better than reddens. the only thing hes got goin for him is he only makes 4 or 5 mill. so maybe a redden and korpi and a pick for kaberle straight up would be more reallistic. i could care less that burke thinks hes gonna that alot for him. he only had 4 frakin goals. his heads up his a$$ if he thinks he could get staal and dubinsky for him.

  45. and he was a -8 too. i know their goaltending sucks, so its actually not bad for that team though

  46. If people here are gonna still play NHL 09 I’m gonna keep it. I was thinking about trading it in and getting NHL 10 in a few months.

    Any football fans? We could get a Madden or NCAA league going later this summer. Or MLB The Show?

  47. shoryuken- im trading in 09. i always trade the old version in for the new one. i dont get into other sports games much besides baseball. ufc would be cool to play against each other.

  48. Shoryuken on Wade Redden — is there an 09 League among people here? Any chance I can join?

    I play just against random idiots but it’s really annoying as 99% of them cheat or play cheap (dive all over the place to block passes no matter what zone they’re in, glitch goals etc). It’s frustrating to say the least.

  49. There’s no league right now, but when NHL 10 comes out there will definitely be something, and maybe if people wanna play The Show or a football game we can set one up.

    I know what you’re saying about NHL online, frustrating as hell when spazzes do nothing but diving pokecheck and cross-crease one-timers. Add me, Solskjaer20.

    Go Wings tonight.

  50. SHOR

    I think you’re forced to trade it in, cause EA takes down online play for 09, when 010 hits the shelves. At least that’s what happened to me when i had 08.

    Go Wings tonight !

Leave A Reply