Questions that deserve answers


I spend a lot of time responding to your questions, comments, and concerns. But I’m hardly complaining. In fact, I feel I’ve become so proficient at this racket I can now even anticipate questions before they’re asked.

And with that, I bring you the first installment of “Questions That Haven’t Been Asked But Should Be.” I ask only that you try to keep up:

*Q: What does a golf writer know about hockey? Shouldn’t you be at the Michelin Tires/Charmin Toilet Paper Open working on your tan? — An Anonymous reader*b00004czn402_ss500_sclzzzzzzz_v1072779648_.jpg

A: What, and miss all this? First, let’s be clear that I was actually a hockey writer long before I was a golf writer. In fact, the other day I stumbled upon a story I wrote for our high school newspaper about the varsity hockey team. The irony is I was ON the varsity hockey team at the time, and in a journalistic first, I actually quoted myself. What I said: “No comment. Now get the hell away from my locker.”

*Q: Can you please put your hockey bag back in the basement? It’s stinking up the whole car. — Love, Your Wife*

A: Dear Wife, thank you for patience during this hockey season, not only on those nights that drag me away from you to follow the Rangers, but also when my own playing career intervenes as well. Be aware, though, that my hockey equipment, as objectionable as it is, is hardly unique. Even the Rangers, complete with their own training and equipment staff and sophisticated machines that dry out their gear, have equipment that reeks. It’s the bond that unites all hockey players around the world.

*Q: When are you going to come up with an original question? And as an aside, have you ever heard of a dry cleaner? Your shirts are always wrinkled. — Members of the New York Rangers*

A: Dear Rangers, let me first say that those wrinke-free shirts they sell are an absolute scam, and I’m walking proof of as much. As for my questions, I figure I’d just start slow. Surely, you all know something about that..

*Q: Hockey? What’s hockey? — Average Sports Fan*

A: That’s OK, Sports Fan, we know you’re busy with the Giants late season meltdown, the BCS controversy, the Yankees’ off-season maneuvering, the Knicks’ complete ineptitude, NASCAR’s assault on common sense, and everything else. It takes a special mind to appreciate the grace and grit of the greatest game in the world, and you’re not quite there yet. The good news is hockey isn’t going anywhere. Or at least that’s what I’m told.

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  1. Doodie Machetto on

    “I figure I’d just start slow. Surely, you all know something about that.. ” BURN!

    ” It’s the bond that unites all hockey players around the world.”

    One of my old teammates used to take the cup out of his jock and put it over peoples face like a breathing mask and called it cocksygen.

  2. *Doodie

    One of my old teammates used to take the cup out of his jock and put it over peoples face like a breathing mask and called it cocksygen.*

    Get a new writer. :)

  3. Doodie Machetto on


    In another life I wish I could be a beat writer and close to the team. How did you get involved in this type of work and what would you say to any children who were interested in going down that life path?

  4. Try the “Non-Iron” 100% cotton button down shirts from Brooks Brothers. They seem like they should feel like crap/synthetic, but they don’t. And they stay remarkably wrinkle-free. Perfect for traveling.

    Thanks again for the blog. Your dedication to it is remarkable and I hope your employers take note of your following. Is there an editor or some other higher-up we could email to share our appreciation? Or would it be more helpful if we emailed your wife?

  5. Sam, did you really quote yourself? hahahaha
    I think all budding journalists did that when we worked on the high school newspaper.

  6. Haha, you know, on the Blueshirt’s Bulletin’s 4-on-4 last night, Brandon Dubinsky was one of the chat guests, and his dad logged in to ask if he remembered to change the oil on his car.
    I guess hockey just isn’t that enthralling anymore~

  7. Thanks again for the kind words, although you’re right, it was a slow day today.

    Doodie, the answer to your question is this is the career I sought out of college and I got a little lucky along the way.

    I’ve always been honest in telling people that I’m very fortunate to do a job that I love, and now that I cover hockey, that’s truer than ever,

    But I will also say is it is not without its stress. Take a look at the overall health of newspapers and you’ll see its a drastically changing business (out of curiosity, I’d love to know how many of you out there still regularly read an actual newspaper). That, of course, is why papers have people like me also doing a blog, and why I’m thrilled to have this blog be so well received.

    In one sense, my advice to kids is what it’s always been: learn to write well and read a lot. But the other part is to be flexible. Learn the technical elements of the internet or TV and radio, because journalism is changing to the extent that you need to know a little bit about everything.

    But again, I never take for granted how lucky I am, especially when there are people who are actually interested in reading what I have to write (when I’m not writing terribly corny jokes, of course).

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